God’s Grace

Grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.

There are painful,
Angry moments.
In the in-between.
When I scream, shout
And curse my way
Through this grief…
When I am weak.
When I feel small.
When I fall-
All the way…
Down.

Grace
Only finds me
Again…when-
I am ready.

When I give in-
And give it all
Right back to Him.
When I kneel down,
And pray…
God shines
His everlasting light
Down upon me.
Radiating His love
And blessings
All around me.
And it is then…when-
I know and feel
That everything
Surrounding me,
Dumbfounding me,
And humbly
Grounding me
Will be okay…

But grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.

It is up to me
To go looking,
Crawling, climbing
Or falling…
My way back
To trusting in Him.
Again, and again,
And again.

I give my heart,
My love,
My faith,
My trust,
And my gratitude
To Him.

Believing
In His healing,
And In His timing
More than mine.
And I will keep
Fighting,
Persevering
And overcoming
My plight.
I have cancer-
But that
Doesn’t define
My life.

Grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.

But it is there-
Waiting for me…
When I am ready.

-Tanielle Childers © 2.1.22

Tree of Life

Tree of life-
Rooted, grounded,
And founded
On love.
Built with our hopes,
And dreams,
And a future team of-
Unified strength
And rising above-
The challenges,
Battles and difficulties
We’ll face.
Together, we’re better
For life’s uphill race.

Beautiful beginnings.
A family-
With children
In the making.
Each one precious,
Each birth, breathtaking.
In awe, overjoyed,
And so overcome-
By the miracle of life,
The power of love.
So much gratitude,
And appreciation
For our family who
Surrounds us,
Grounds us,
And blankets us
In their prayers.
Together, with God,
We will always
Rise above
Life’s many layers.

For seasons of change,
They will come.
And they will pass.
A steady stream
Of normalcy,
And time racing by
Too fast.
Taking moments
For granted.
But knowing-
Normal never lasts.
Life can change,
In the blink of an eye.
Tell those you love-
And that you
Love them for life.
Reach out and hug them.
Hold onto them tight.
Count your blessings
When you’re with them,
And be grateful-
For every moment
Of this magnificent life.

Generations of our ancestors,
Rooted, grounded,
And founded
On an abundance of love.
Our Tree of life.
Our beautiful family.
Eternally grateful to our
Heavenly Father above.

-Tanielle Childers © 1.25.22

I Am Mightier

Hope • Healing • Growing • Overcoming

I AM MIGHTIER

A major life change-
Unfolding swiftly
Before me.
Each day-
A new wave,
And an attempt
At a brave face-
With this tough,
New reality.
Breast Cancer,
Has completely
Dumbfounded me.
It’s astounding-
To me…
Just how fast
The Cancer Center
Moves.
With their patient’s care,
There is no time to lose.
Testing and directing you,
Collecting results,
Analyzing and presenting
Everything
They know.
Offering their expertise,
Comforting words,
And best of all,
HOPE.
The cancer-
Must be removed,
And the time
Is coming now.
And my job
As a patient
Is to prepare myself…
And I will-
SOMEHOW.
A mind-numbing
Place in time,
And so surreal.
Some moments feel
Much more-
Like a dream,
And —- it seems
Almost impossible
To swallow
Or even digest
A mere fraction of this-
The magnitude
Of all that is-
Happening
So fast.
I’m tapping
Into my inner
Strength and courage,
Hope and faith,
My sacred space.
But I do not
And will not
Feel sorry for me-
Only uncertainty
For all that is coming,
And all that will be.
For whatever reason,
THIS—
Is part of
My life journey.
A new chapter
Of learning-
Healing,
And letting go,
Overcoming,
And BIG growth
For me-
Spiritually.
Putting my full faith
Into God-
To carry me
When I am tired,
And weary.
I feel in my heart
Of hearts,
That all will be okay…
But I worry-
Most about
My beautiful family.
And how THEY
Are going to cope,
And manage
Around me.
I MUST
AND I WILL
Get through this!
For this—
Is just a BIG bump
In the road.
This cancer-
May be as fierce as a tiger,
But I —
I AM a fiercer fighter.
And with the heart of a lion,
I will prove
That I am MIGHTIER!

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 1-1-22

Breast Cancer

Occupying my free time to avoid thinking too much about pending biopsy results. Painting made the waiting pass a little more easily and less frantically.

Breast Cancer
Wasn’t the
The answer
I ever wanted to hear…

It hit me hard-
Then fear
Sank deep-
Within my heart.
The world paused-
And Everything
Around me-
Faded out.
I was suddenly,
And completely
Unaware of my
Surroundings-
As I momentarily,
And mentally
Checked out.

I felt numb.
SO NUMB.
Everything a blur.
I went inward-
To a quiet place
As I soaked in
Every word,
And understood
As much as I could-
About this
New and foreign
Space.
My heart raced.

Both Invasive
And non-invasive
Ductal Carcinoma.
Tiny, but
Potentially significant
Calcifications
Are present around
This small mass-
Alas-
You’ll need an MRI
Followed by-
Meeting your
Oncology team
at MD Anderson
Cancer Center
Are you familiar?

Jeneane,
Your nurse
Navigator,
Will be calling…

My heart-
Continued falling.
The ground
Slowly crumbling
Beneath my feet.
As I was trying
To wrap my head
Around every
Foreign word
Just spoken to me.

I feel deeply
Anxious about
This whirlwind
Of news…
This flood
Of sudden,
But absolutely
Necessary
Slew-
of Doctor’s
Appointments
Leading up to-
Surgery,
Recovery,
The possibility
Of
A lumpectomy,
Mastectomy?
Reconstruction,
Genetics testing
Radiation
Or hormonal
Treatment therapy.
The thought of
Future cancer
rediscovery?
My mind
Was racing
Ahead of me-
Why is all of this
happening?

Breathe.
Just breathe.

Cancer will not
Get the best of me!
This is just another
Difficult life test for me.
And I am ready…
At least,
I’m trying really hard-
To be.
Knowing
Deep within my heart-
God’s got me.
No matter what.
In my weakest moments,
His grace and light
Will carry me,
And I will fight
With every
Ounce of life in me.

I am grounded.
Re-grounded.
I am humbled.
Re-humbled.
I am grateful.
Newly grateful,
For every blessing
I have taken for granted.
I am blessed.
So very blessed.
With the best-
Friends and family
And support I feel
All around me.

My happily ever after
Isn’t the perfect body,
The perfect house,
Or the perfect life.
It’s love and laughter.
It’s God’s light.
It’s family and friends,
And moments together
No matter the weather.
It’s overcoming,
And conquering
Every life obstacle,
And beating CANCER.
It’s living a long
And happy life
In remission-
AFTER.

Beauty exists
In the everyday
Mundane.
Happiness exists
In life’s littlest
And simplest of things.

I am deeply grateful
For this life.
And I am scared.
Please lift me up
In your prayers.
I can do this.
I will get through this.

-Tanielle Childers©️ 2021
(diagnosed Dec. 21, 2021)

(Please ladies, go get your mammogram! This happened within 1-1/2 years since my last. I didn’t feel a lump. The doctor’s assistant didn’t feel a lump. I requested a mammogram. That mammogram showed a tiny mass – the size of a pencil eraser. That find led to a 3D scan and an ultrasound. I was given the option of waiting and rechecking in 6 months time or a breast biopsy to find out in a few days time. I chose the biopsy and my cancer was detected, thank God! It is scary, but so necessary. Please don’t hesitate. Advocate for yourself and your body. Trust your gut and don’t ever question it.)

Be Still My Heart

Dear Caleyo,

Life’s precious
moments
Are fleeting-
Your tiny feet
Pitter-pattering
While squealing,
Scurrying
And running
All throughout
Our tiny house…

Be still, my heart.

Your giggles
And wiggles
One-liners,
Two-worders,
Three-worders,
And more.
Your sentences
And sassiness,
With occasional
Meowing
And barking
On all fours.

Your grumbles
And mumbles
Growls and sighs.

Your tiny little voice,
And adorable pouting face
With half-closed eyes.

Your deep voice – singing,
And ukulele strumming-
While leaning into your mic.

Your drumsticks-
In the form of
Two chopsticks,
Banging and clanging
On everything in sight.

Pwaying bwocks ,
Watching Grizzy
Or Gabby,
And going outside.

Pretend cooking-
Making coffee and cake
In your mini kitchen
Not far from mine.

Snuggling
And cuddling.
Breakfast, cartoons,
And morning bath time.

These precious
Life moments-
Are God’s greatest gifts
To be cherished for
A lifetime!

I’m grateful
For every
Single moment
I get to spend
Right by your side.

Be still, my heart!

I love you forever
And always!
I love you forever
In ALL ways!

Love, Mom

Dear Talin

16″ x 20″ acrylic on panel by Tanielle Childers © 2017

As our birthday nears,
I find myself
A little lost-
And
Quiet in my
Thoughts
Of remembering
YOU-
First learning of you.
Celebrating you.
Losing you.
Mourning you.

Differently-
This year.
But again-
Anyway.
And more-
These last few
Days.
But in reality-
Most likely…
Always.

Blindsided.
This-
Shadow grief…
Each time my mind
Sneaks-
Back to you,
This day.
Your day.
Our day.
And letting go…
But-
Not by my choice
My voice
Cracks,
My heart clenches-
Tightly.
I choke up.
Swallowing hard-
Trying to collect myself-
Politely.
Imploring it all to pass
But alas-
It arrives anyway-

My emotions
Pooling.
Welling up.
Sorrow spilling-
Lightly…
This releasing
Of you-
Once again.
Quietly.
Just
Feeling a little sad…
On this melancholy,
Pre-celebratory
Day.
My Mom’s birthday,
My birthday,
And the day
I miscarried
You
Naturally—
On July 7th
Back in 2017.
Happy almost birthday,
Sweet Talin!
I love you
ALWAYS.
I love you
DEEPLY.
I will love you
FOREVER…
Unconditionally-
And Completely.

I see you in the
Butterflies
That come
To say hello.
And in the hawks
Perched on landings
Or flying overhead
Watching over
Our family
Wherever we go-
I feel you in my heart
And with me
In spirit.
And I will-
Go on missing you
Forever,
But each year
Better.
And tomorrow
I’ll be celebrating
You and hope
Wherever you are,
That you hear it!

💜Mom

Super Women

From all social media
She laid low
The life she lived
She took back
And made it her own
Again
No more show
And tell
She fell
Silent
To the world around her
Let solidarity and peace
Surround her
She was no longer
Bound to her
Need to please
Need for acceptance
Need to somehow
Prove her self worth
Now
She aimed to
Please herself by
Doing things
She knew might
Fill her heart
With joy and love
Her rising above
Society’s unrealistic
Expectations
Of what a woman
And mother
Should look like and be
We
Are human
And yes, we are
Super women
But not by
Society’s definition
We are
Perfectly imperfect
Just the way we are
In the now
With every one of
Our hard earned
Tiger stripes
And scars
And we are
Beautiful
In our every shape
And size
As our amazing bodies
Transform
Throughout our lives
I hereby declare
We are
Our own prize
Unobjectified
And we deserve
To respect
And love ourselves
For far more
Than just our outsides

—Tanielle Childers ©️ March 2021

Midnight Sky

There’s something magical-
About a midnight sky…
Blanketed by stars;
A million dancing little lights.

The soft glow of the crescent moon-
The silky haze of the Milky Way.
There’s something beautiful
In the thought-
That half of the world’s dreams
Will soon be underway.

There’s something peaceful-
About the cool midnight air.
A calming and soothing energy-
A time of gratitude, reflection,
And prayer.

There’s a spiritual shift-
When the bustling day
Finally winds down,
And transforms into night.
It’s the perfect time-
To wish upon a star…
To snuggle up close,
And tuck your loved ones in-
Just right.

There’s something magical
About a midnight sky…
Silent within our own thoughts,
And millions of prayers
Reaching up towards the heavens-
Each night.

There’s a magic-
Comforting us from way up high;
A twinkling beacon of hope-
Watching over this side of the world-
Until the next sun begins to rise-

Life is a gift!

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 1/19/21

18″ x 24″ acrylic on board © Tanielle Childers

I Despise — Depression.

DEPRESSION –
Calls EVERY thing
Into question.
It never arrives-
To teach us a lesson.

It’s unrelenting,
Unforgiving,
So belittling.

It thrives on
Self-oppression,
Self-aggression,
And self-demise —

I DESPISE —
Depression.
NO question.

Behind our eyes
And our smile,
There’s a darkness
That can hold us-
Captive.
Triggers make it
Reactive.
The impact it has – on
Our Spirit, our mood,
Our ability to interact —
We retract.
Silently, slyly, shyly.
Not wanting to be a burden-
Yet, so desperately
Wanting to be heard – ‘n
Struggling to find
Enough courage
To purge it — out loud.
Our urge is — Too proud-
To let it all come out.

Instead—
We tend to suffer alone –
Inside our own head.
Keeping it to ourselves-
Is what we do best.

I pray for the day
When the topic of
Our mental health
Isn’t so taboo—

When our pride and ego
Can take a backseat — to-
Our vulnerability,
And reaching out-
To help others through.

Alone,
We can do so little.
Together,
There is so much more
We can ALL do —
Better.

Speaking openly
About our struggles-
Allows others
To feel comfortable
Doing the same.
It’s high time — for change.

I DESPISE —
Depression.
No question!

And if you,
Or someone you know,
Suffers from
Depression, too?
Reach out-
Check in-
Let them know
How much you care-
Even if you may not
Understand —
It makes a difference
Just knowing you’re there.

-Tanielle Childers © Jan. 2020-




36″ x 24″ pastels © Tanielle Childers

To My Children –

To the best and most beautiful creations of my life

In such uncertain times, with the fires consuming our beautiful state of Colorado, with Covid #s rising again and with the looming presidential election upon us creating so much negativity and divisiveness….these life moments feel more fleeting to me than ever before!

Our time here is but a blink and so are these precious moments with our children and loved ones – which I’ve been guilty of taking for granted time and time again. I want nothing more than to comfort my children and reassure them of more certain times ahead, not really knowing what that looks or feels like. I feel helpless in so many ways as a mom. I’m doing my best, but have I done enough??? That question keeps me up at night! My kids are 16, 12 and 18 months. I lie next to our youngest at night, watching her sleep … and wish I could go back in time and spend more time with my older 2 doing the same…..these moments are truly life’s greatest treasure.

Art has had to take a back seat (and I miss it terribly), but I still have time to write poetry as I lie in bed with a mind that refuses to rest … this poem came to me the other night and would not leave me until I wrote (texted) it down in a message to myself … and then to our oldest 2. It’s so important to always let them know how you feel and to say it often because you just never know what tomorrow holds.

To my children – the best and most beautiful creations of my lifetime:

If I could…
I’d hug you tight.
I’d snuggle and cuddle you
Through the night.

I’d comfort you-
And hold you close.
I’d rub your face,
And kiss your nose.

I’d bring you peace,
And let you rest.
I’d pause the world-
And take your stress.

I’d make your every
Dream come true.
I’d squeeze your hand-
And celebrate you!

I’d remind you
Of all the wonderful ways-
You brighten my world
On the darkest of days.

I’d look into
Your beautiful eyes-
And tell you, “I love you!”
A thousand more times.

I’d hug you close-
And never let go.
I’d freeze the moments
And never grow old.

If I could…
Go back in time,
I’d spend more hours
With your hand in mine.

I’d play with you,
And sing with you.
I’d dance the whole night
Through with you.

We’d walk and talk
And stare up at the sky,
And watch the clouds
And the world go by.

We’d wish upon
Every twinkling star-
And soak in every moment
Wherever we are.

We’d giggle and laugh
The whole day through-
Telling dad jokes & bad jokes,
And mom jokes, too.

If I could…
Go back in time-
I’d make more moments
For your heart and mine.

I love you more than
All the stars that shine.
I’m your biggest fan & I’ll always-
Carry your heart inside mine.

I will love you forever
And always…
I will be proud of you forever
In ALL ways!

I 💜 you most,

-Mom

10.28.2000

I Am Becoming

Letting go
Of all the things
No longer serving me.
Poor excuses,
Self Pity,
And self image negativity.
I am UNbecoming
The loudest critic
Deep within me.

A new decade.
A new year.
New Self-love and respect
For everything
My body has done for me.
Feeling immense gratitude
For every gift
God has laid out before me,
And for every moment in difficult times,
Where His light and grace
Have carried me.

Actions
Speak louder than words-
My body is healed.
And I am ready… Finally!
Body, mind and soul,
Are you listening?
There will be days
Where I’m up before dawn
Rebuilding
Re-instilling
And Reigniting
The fighting spirit inside me.
Regaining my strength,
Endurance,
And ability-
One step at a time
Toward the future me I see.
Removing the inner chaos
And making way-
For mental peace and clarity.
Re-grounding my spirit,
And doing my best
To love myself fairly.
Opening my heart,
And listening carefully.
Being present more often
For our beautiful,
And growing family.

Focusing
With intention,
Purpose, fortitude,
Patience and positivity.
Our children are watching
How I navigate and tackle
Every obstacle-
Life places in front of me.
I am becoming,
And overcoming daily.
Relentlessly.
And nothing will stop me.
Nothing.
I AM BECOMING.

     -Tanielle Childers © 2020

A Beautiful Shade of Broken

36″x36″ acrylic on canvas by Tanielle Childers © 2018

She is complex.
She is a survivor.
She can adapt-
Like a fish out of water.

She is fierce.
She is a fighter.
She has the heart of a lion;
The stripes of a tiger.

She swims through her sorrows.
She finds grace through her tears.
She carries life lessons
As wisdom through her years.

While her spirit is mending,
She is quiet and soft-spoken.
She becomes a rainbow after the storm.
She is a beautiful shade of broken.


Tanielle Childers © 2018

My Night in Shining Armor

Lying under the midnight sky,
Gazing up through the darkness above me.
Captivated by each flittering star-
An energy grows inside me.

The earth – so comforting, so gentle, so still.
The breeze electrifies every hair on my body-
Chills tingle inside and out.
The silence calms my tensions and worries.
And time no longer keeps count.

Everywhere around me – darkness stands motionless.
Shadows are frozen in time.
I can feel the energy glowing from within me-
I am the light-
And the darkness is mine.

                          -Tanielle Childers © 2018
                              (rewritten from years ago)

God is Mending Your Wings

Rising Again - The Strength of the Human Spirit, small
Rising Again – The Strength of the Human Spirit 18″x24″ acrylic on panel by Tanielle Childers © 2018 Original is SOLD

“God is Mending Your Wings”

Waves of grief break you down time and time again,
And it’s up to you to find a way through it-
Whether you crawl, walk or swim.

Dig deep, for strength lies far below the surface-
Below your sorrow, anger, and insecurities.
Below where your heart now painfully bleeds.
Beneath the sadness that makes it hard to breathe.

Release the weight of your sorrow-
And allow your heart to cry.
Break down your wall and allow yourself to feel-
And move through the emotions you’ve locked away inside.

For a time, it feels as though all the good in life has died.
It feels like the darkness will forever transcend the light.
But releasing this heartache will ease your burden,
And soon, you’ll be alright.

Find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
And it’s okay not to be okay every second of every day.
You don’t always have to remain strong.
In grieving, there is no right or wrong.

One foot in front of the other, one baby step at a time.
Believe me, when I tell you, there is no set timeline-
On when, how long, or how often you will grieve.
Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need.

And please give yourself permission to be held,
To be loved and supported in times when you feel weak.
Accept the same help you offer up so eagerly-
And be patient, for God is mending your wings.

Allow your spirit to evolve, adapt and transform.
Breathe and allow yourself the gift of being reborn-
A new chapter, a new way, a new norm.
Slowly over time, you will begin to see a new light.
The beginning of a new day with a new you, from the inside.

And when you find the courage to stand tall and rise again-
Use your new found strength, the compassion in your heart,
And the love and support from your family and friends.

And have faith — The sky is the limit with God in it.
He sat with you through darkness, so you could see the light.
And He held your broken heart as you mourned this loss of life.
And as you begin to emerge from the darkness into the light,
God will be holding your hand as you don your new wings
And take flight – towards the new you – and a new way of life.

                                        -Tanielle Childers © 2018

The Heart of this Life

My heart falls to the lowest of lows
When a life is lost that I love.
But my heart, too, feels the highest of highs
When I’m filled with immense gratitude and love.

I am passionate about the heart of this life
And every journey here on earth.
I speak openly of life and death
And all that I have learned.

All of the moments spent with family and friends
Are times I treasure most.
I hold onto those with all of my hear
And keep them very close.

In times of grief, I reflect on my life
And dive in to understand.
Every day brings a brand new set of emotions
And I welcome them the best I can.

In allowing these emotions to move through me,
My heart is overcome by all that it feels.
But I’m giving my spirit permission to cry
And to take this time to heal.

When I fall, I fall hard.
I shake my fist at the sky and cry my way through-
But I love this life and the family I have
And I’ll stand tall again with strength anew.

I am moved to write down these moments as I feel them-
About the emotions that tug at my heart.
I believe our lives are about connecting with one another
We were not meant to go through it alone or apart.

Tanielle Childers © 2017

Rising Again

Starting over is a far cry from easy.
There are days when it feels harder than it needs to be.
Moments when life feels as though it’s defeating me.
Deflating me. Cheating me.
Making me fight just to keep the peace in me.
Shadowing the light I try to keep alive inside of me.
Days when giving up feels like an easier choice for me.
Just rolling over and letting life get the very best of me.
Giving in and allowing the tough times to conquer me.
But, that’s not how I want the story to end for me.

These hard times are breaking me down
And allowing me to build a better me.
Teaching me new faith and strength
And renewing my belief in me.
I know I have what it takes
To be the best version of me I’m able to be.
I’ve never been one to give up so easily.

The dawn of a new day
Gives way to another fight for me.
One foot in front of the other
Towards the person, I wish to be.
Acknowledging my emotions
And taking time out for the healing of me.
Celebrating the moments in every small victory.
Pausing to take in this beautiful world that surrounds me.
Feeling the love and support all around me.

I will take these broken wings
And learn to fly — To defy gravity.
Today was a really tough day for me,
But it will not be the last of me.
I’ll be back tomorrow-
To rise up again against the weak in me.
To push forward beyond my own negativity.
Letting go of my poor self-image
And all the doubts I have in me-
And run towards everything
God put me on this earth to be.

                                   -Tanielle Childers © 2017

My Bright Shooting Star

Jafe Image - DO NOT USE
What a Wonderful World

 

This is a poem about miscarriage … I recently miscarried for a second time … on my 41st birthday. The heartbreak doesn’t ever get any easier (for any of us) and every day brings different emotions in the grieving process. So often, miscarriages are suffered in silence. I’m on a mission to break the silence by sharing my heart and journey with those who have also suffered. In honor of every parent who has grieved or are currently grieving the loss of their baby, my heart and prayers go out to you. You are not alone in your pain. May you find peace and healing in your own journey.

Suffering from postpartum depression makes every day a new day. Some days are not as graceful as others, but we are grieving, surviving and mending our hearts each day the very best we can…

My Bright, Shooting Star

July 7th
Twenty-seventeen-
Another special birthday
For my beautiful mom and me.

It also became the day I would miscarry-
Our sweet baby not meant to be.
How uncanny –
Our shared birthday, now x 3.

How heart-wrenching-
And yet somehow beautiful.
How bitter-
And yet somehow sweet.
So very special and somber-
But an overall healing day for me.

My emotions were running high
The pain and heartache
In saying goodbye.
A day meant for celebrations-
But as you began to leave,
the heartbreak made me cry.

Yet in it and through it,
I felt a light in God’s grace.
Your spirit bright and beautiful
And with me-
You were destined for heaven
Instead of this time and place.

How fragile this life –
So beautiful, salty and sweet…
When the sadness overtakes me,
When my heart struggles to find its beat,
God’s grace is there to hold me up
And bring me to my feet.

As the sun began to set,
And the birthday celebrations
Came to an end-
We hugged each other tight,
In gratitude-
For every moment spent.

As we pulled out
And headed for home that night,
You made your presence known-
A bright shooting star
Fell before our eyes.
All was well in heaven
And we knew you’d made it home.

-Tanielle Childers © 2017

 

You Are My Sunshine

Dear Kaia, Korbin & Caleyo,

I LOVE you more than words
Could ever describe …
More than every STAR that dances
In the MAGICAL night sky.

I love you with my whole HEART-
With all that I am and will ever be.
You are my SUNSHINE, my LIGHT
And the greatest part about me.

You are AMAZING, INCREDIBLE-
And perfectly you.
God blessed me with life’s greatest GIFT
When he lovingly graced me with each one of YOU.

-Tanielle Childers © 2016

In Loving Memory of Grandpa Mac

In loving memory of my grandpa, Robert Steven McLaughlin, aka (Stubby to me). He was more like one of my best friends – someone I loved to be around as much as I could. I loved his sarcastic and ornery nature and loved following his lead by dishing it all right back. I adored him and still do – and I miss him dearly! I wanted to honor him and his life by reading the following poem at his funeral.

 

In the early morning hours
On Tuesday, August 18, 2015
With family by his side,
Jesus came to carry him home-
And he took in a breath
For the very last time.

I wish you could know
This incredible man as we do-
The strength of his character, quick-wit
And famous slicked-back hairdo.

This man holds our hearts
As we once held his hand.
We love him so deeply-
He helped shape our whole Clan.

He was once tough as nails-
Unafraid to speak his mind-
More stubborn than most-
A hard-edged, but kind-hearted
Joke-telling, One-of-a-kind.

A feisty and ornery
Tough-loving spirit.
No one knew better than he did-
And he wouldn’t even hear it.

He was our family mechanic
Always there to help fix it.
But, abide by his rules
And give back ALL of his tools-
Or you might never, EVER
Hear the tail end of it.

He was an artist by right-
Though he’d never claim it as true.
He was an amazing wood carver,
Woodworker, metal sculptor, welder,
And hand-made, gift-giving
Family man, too.

He caught rattlesnakes in North Dakota
Brought them home in wire cages-
And kept a jar with just one-
In his garage through the ages.

He used to hand feed the squirrels
A single peanut on his lap.
Then, he started feeding the birds-
And his love for the squirrels-
Became electric after that.

He enjoyed camping with loved ones.
Four-wheeling and day hikes.
Sitting around the campfire
And retiring early each night.

At home it was just known-
That he had his own chair.
It was his and his only-
And best of luck to you-
If you happened to sit there.

His clothes always pressed,
His belly always fed.
And his hair meticulously styled
On top of his head-
Was NOT to be messed with-
At least, that’s what he said.

He loved his toast burnt,
Half and half on his cake,
Peanut butter with breakfast
And loads upon loads of butter
On his baked potatoes and steak.

He loved sipping whiskey and water
With the mixture just right-
Or blackberry Brandy
To unwind for the night.

Thank you from our hearts
For all you have given.
Your love keeps on loving
And our memories will go on living.

We already miss you so dearly,
But thank our Heavenly Father
For the gift of you.
Your fiery spirit lives on
In the heart of this Clan
And through all you’ve instilled
In each one of us, too.

-Tanielle Childers (Tillie) © August 18, 2015

Dear Dason – 3 Years Ago Today

Dear Dason,

Three years ago today-
We learned of your passing.
Our sweet baby-to-be
Gone from this earth,
To life everlasting.

Born to be an angel,
On golden wings, you took flight.
Soaring freely
Through the sky.
Up to the heavens-
Up to the light.

Your life-
A beautiful gift.
One of hope
And of promise.
Your passing-
A humbling reminder
Of all the blessings
Still upon us.

This life-
Is so precious,
So fragile,
So salty-sweet.
Filled with moments
That clench our hearts,
Steal our breath,
Make us weep.
Rendering us helpless-
Unable to speak…

And of moments
Filled with magic,
Pure joy,
Love and light.
Sweet memories,
And reverie
To help carry us
Through each night.

Life is a gift,
I will celebrate today-
In loving memory
Of our Dason-
Born an angel
On this day.

-Tanielle Childers © August 10, 2015