Dear Talin

As our birthday nears,
I find myself
A little lost-
And
Quiet in my
Thoughts
Of remembering
YOU-
First learning of you.
Celebrating you.
Losing you.
Mourning you.

Differently-
This year.
But again-
Anyway.
And more-
These last few
Days.
But in reality-
Most likely…
Always.

Blindsided.
This-
Shadow grief…
Each time my mind
Sneaks-
Back to you,
This day.
Your day.
Our day.
And letting go…
But-
Not by my choice
My voice
Cracks,
My heart clenches-
Tightly.
I choke up.
Swallowing hard-
Trying to collect myself-
Politely.
Imploring it all to pass
But alas-
It arrives anyway-

My emotions
Pooling.
Welling up.
Sorrow spilling-
Lightly…
This releasing
Of you-
Once again.
Quietly.
Just
Feeling a little sad…
On this melancholy,
Pre-celebratory
Day.
My Mom’s birthday,
My birthday,
And the day
I miscarried
You
Naturally—
On July 7th
Back in 2017.
Happy almost birthday,
Sweet Talin!
I love you
ALWAYS.
I love you
DEEPLY.
I will love you
FOREVER…
Unconditionally-
And Completely.

I see you in the
Butterflies
That come
To say hello.
And in the hawks
Perched on landings
Or flying overhead
Watching over
Our family
Wherever we go-
I feel you in my heart
And with me
In spirit.
And I will-
Go on missing you
Forever,
But each year
Better.
And tomorrow
I’ll be celebrating
You and hope
Wherever you are,
That you hear it!

💜Mom

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