I’m searching High and low- For the rainbow In my new normal. Crying, praying, Pondering, And wavering Between hope And hopeless. Between faith And why this? Feeling all the weight, and strain, And bulk of this- New world I’m staring into. A long road ahead Of healing, And reeling, And struggling To stand tall, And strong again. I feel like I’m fighting Against the wind. But I always fight To win. I’m weakened, And I’ve been Hit hard By chemo treatment. My daily struggles Are no secret. My dignity Has taken a big hit. And I’m right in The thick of it. Hair loss, weight gain, Stiff, painful muscles, Twitching, sensitive eyes, And Menopause – Overnight. Tissue expanders, And fluid retention. I’m down at the bottom Begging for redemption. Breast Cancer Is a disease and a terrible life infection A life changing direction, With deepened introspection Of who and what I am at my core Because everything That once was- Is nothing like It was – before. I must do Everything Within my power To find the rainbow After this storm. I must set my ego aside And find the light In my new life- My new norm. For there is beauty To be found In every life cycle And in every living form.
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
This was written the day my chemo port was placed, and the night before my very first chemo treatment. I was terrified of all of the unknowns. I leaned into God at every scary turn and it was everything I needed and more – to get me through it. May this poem find those who need it and offer up all of the same to you in your time of need or for someone you love! Love, light and giant hugs to all going through their own life battles right now. May we become beacons of light in the eye of the storm we’re in, to give hope to all those who follow a similar life journey! 💗💗💗
Laughter is the best medicine – so don’t forget to laugh as often as possible to get those endorphins coming your way. Stay strong!
God’s grace- is a glorious place. A prayerful, and meditative state- filled with peace, unconditional love, and safe keeping. Releasing, And unleashing me from all that burdens my weary, and tethered mind- to fearful, and unkind thoughts- that slowly rise up to the tip top. Becoming louder And more prominent, and dominant than my faith. I pause in reflection- And feel God beckon me back- to trust in Him completely. To not fear this road I see in front of me. But to believe in Him, And to seek the beauty, amongst the rubble He has lovingly bestowed upon me. I must always retrace my steps- back to the quiet, prayerful space- when I feel lost- And He will come to greet me, and I must lean in with everything I am- to learn every lesson He is teaching me. I feel renewed by the power of faith He has restored within me. He refuses to give up on me. God’s grace is everything. Even through all of these life trials, and tribulations- I am humbled and blessed by the outpouring of God’s greatest kindnesses, and I am wholeheartedly, and profoundly gracious. I will do my very best to remain steadfast, and courageous- in the face of- my greatest challenges. God’s grace- Is the most glorious, and peaceful place. Where my tears of gratitude stream freely. Where my heart is overcome by His eternal, and everlasting love for me. God’s grace never ceases- to amaze me. His amazing grace always finds me in the dark, and reaches out with his undying love- to once again save me…
A major life change- Unfolding swiftly Before me. Each day- A new wave, And an attempt At a brave face- With this tough, New reality. Breast Cancer, Has completely Dumbfounded me. It’s astounding- To me… Just how fast The Cancer Center Moves. With their patient’s care, There is no time to lose. Testing and directing you, Collecting results, Analyzing and presenting Everything They know. Offering their expertise, Comforting words, And best of all, HOPE. The cancer- Must be removed, And the time Is coming now. And my job As a patient Is to prepare myself… And I will- SOMEHOW. A mind-numbing Place in time, And so surreal. Some moments feel Much more- Like a dream, And —- it seems Almost impossible To swallow Or even digest A mere fraction of this- The magnitude Of all that is- Happening So fast. I’m tapping Into my inner Strength and courage, Hope and faith, My sacred space. But I do not And will not Feel sorry for me- Only uncertainty For all that is coming, And all that will be. For whatever reason, THIS— Is part of My life journey. A new chapter Of learning- Healing, And letting go, Overcoming, And BIG growth For me- Spiritually. Putting my full faith Into God- To carry me When I am tired, And weary. I feel in my heart Of hearts, That all will be okay… But I worry- Most about My beautiful family. And how THEY Are going to cope, And manage Around me. I MUST AND I WILL Get through this! For this— Is just a BIG bump In the road. This cancer- May be as fierce as a tiger, But I — I AM a fiercer fighter. And with the heart of a lion, I will prove That I am MIGHTIER!