I’m searching High and low- For the rainbow In my new normal. Crying, praying, Pondering, And wavering Between hope And hopeless. Between faith And why this? Feeling all the weight, and strain, And bulk of this- New world I’m staring into. A long road ahead Of healing, And reeling, And struggling To stand tall, And strong again. I feel like I’m fighting Against the wind. But I always fight To win. I’m weakened, And I’ve been Hit hard By chemo treatment. My daily struggles Are no secret. My dignity Has taken a big hit. And I’m right in The thick of it. Hair loss, weight gain, Stiff, painful muscles, Twitching, sensitive eyes, And Menopause – Overnight. Tissue expanders, And fluid retention. I’m down at the bottom Begging for redemption. Breast Cancer Is a disease and a terrible life infection A life changing direction, With deepened introspection Of who and what I am at my core Because everything That once was- Is nothing like It was – before. I must do Everything Within my power To find the rainbow After this storm. I must set my ego aside And find the light In my new life- My new norm. For there is beauty To be found In every life cycle And in every living form.
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
Life’s most precious moments- are fleeting. My heart is alive and well, and still beating.
I’ve been busy living every minute- to the fullest. In the quiet moments, I am grieving. But in the face of it all, I remain upright and stoic.
I may crumble in the dark- but God brings me right back to His light. I may get angry at the journey that lies in front of me. But God is holding my hand tight.
I didn’t ask for this, and I’d rather not have to do it. But God brought me to this- and He will bring me through it.
I choose to set my sights on every silver lining that lies before me. I choose faith over fear, and I hold onto hope with all the courage I have- even while I am mourning.
I believe wholeheartedly that our life journey is for a reason. We may not understand our hardships or life difficulties- but we must remain steadfast, trust in Him and keep believing.
I will give my all- to be a beacon of bright light for all who may go down a similar life journey. This isn’t me going into battle. This is me going through some tough-ass moments, letting go, big personal growth, and so much learning.
Cancer does not, and will not ever define me. I will rise and face the music directly in front of me, bask in God’s healing light, and breathe in peace, as I begin the painful process of leaving this cancer behind me.
There are painful, Angry moments. In the in-between. When I scream, shout And curse my way Through this grief… When I am weak. When I feel small. When I fall- All the way… Down.
Grace Only finds me Again…when- I am ready.
When I give in- And give it all Right back to Him. When I kneel down, And pray… God shines His everlasting light Down upon me. Radiating His love And blessings All around me. And it is then…when- I know and feel That everything Surrounding me, Dumbfounding me, And humbly Grounding me Will be okay…
But grace Doesn’t find me Every waking day.
It is up to me To go looking, Crawling, climbing Or falling… My way back To trusting in Him. Again, and again, And again.
I give my heart, My love, My faith, My trust, And my gratitude To Him.
Believing In His healing, And In His timing More than mine. And I will keep Fighting, Persevering And overcoming My plight. I have cancer- But that Doesn’t define My life.