tanielleart – dreamer | artist | painter

Transformation

I’m searching
High and low-
For the rainbow
In my new normal.
Crying, praying,
Pondering,
And wavering
Between hope
And hopeless.
Between faith
And why this?
Feeling all the
weight, and strain,
And bulk of this-
New world
I’m staring into.
A long road ahead
Of healing,
And reeling,
And struggling
To stand tall,
And strong again.
I feel like I’m fighting
Against the wind.
But I always fight
To win.
I’m weakened,
And I’ve been
Hit hard
By chemo treatment.
My daily struggles
Are no secret.
My dignity
Has taken a big hit.
And I’m right in
The thick of it.
Hair loss, weight gain,
Stiff, painful muscles,
Twitching, sensitive eyes,
And Menopause –
Overnight.
Tissue expanders,
And fluid retention.
I’m down at the bottom
Begging for redemption.
Breast Cancer
Is a disease
and a terrible life infection
A life changing direction,
With deepened introspection
Of who and what
I am at my core
Because everything
That once was-
Is nothing like
It was – before.
I must do
Everything
Within my power
To find the rainbow
After this storm.
I must set my ego aside
And find the light
In my new life-
My new norm.
For there is beauty
To be found
In every life cycle
And in every living form.

-Tanielle 6.20.22

Beautiful Life

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

BEAUTIFUL LIFE

I am so very grateful
for this beautiful life.
For the brilliant sunsets,
and the early morning sunrise.
For the epic Colorado blue skies,
that transition poetically into night.

For the moon that glows,
the twinkling stars that shine,
and for the afterglow of the moon-
burning brightly into our daytime…

For the storm clouds that rise
to the heavens-
or gently roll through.
For the pitter-patter of rain when it drops-
For all of our life memories,
and my loving thoughts of you.

For the snow when it falls,
and the intricate wonder
of snow flakes.
For snuggling next to you-
when I’m cold.
And waking beside you-
when the light
of the early morning day, breaks.

For the sweet morning bird songs,
that sing of spring and rebirth.
For your comforting hugs
when the sting of this life-
hurts worst.

For the soothing sound-
of your deep voice
that calms, and relaxes my worry.
For the quiet moments spent with you.
When life pauses,
and we let go of the hurry.

For your tender, loving kisses,
and I love you’s.
For our barefoot, mountain wedding,
our custom vows, and I do’s.

For paddleboarding side by side
in the hot summer sun.
For camping, hiking,
night fires, and outdoor family fun.

For jogging alongside me
with our littlest in tow.
I love and adore
every moment with you,
and I love you more
than you’ll ever know.

I am so very grateful-
for this beautiful life.
For all of our family and friends,
our children, and for you-
right by my side.

I love you forever.
I love you for life.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 3.15.22

Grab Hold –

Poetry by Tanielle Childers, Uncategorized

As much as we’d like-
to think we control
our future and our fate…

We don’t decide
when or how we will go,
much less, our final date.

I have become
very hyper-aware
of the moments-
and all I’ve been given.

One silver lining
to cancer, I suppose-
is I’ve realized
I’d better get to livin’!

Life isn’t perfect,
nor every day sweet.
But each waking moment
is a gift, and a blessing.

Soak up the minutes,
love hard, and be present.
Hold onto faith through the good,
the bad and the messy.

Have patience,
be kind, and accountable,
Treat your neighbors
as you would yourself.

Live now, live bold,
and laugh often.
And never put your dreams
up on that shelf.

Follow your heart,
don’t give up,
and keep going.
Money doesn’t equal success.

Chase your dreams,
inspire, and encourage.
Lift others up,
and give them your best.

Fill up your heart,
and it will fuel your spirit.
Live in joy,
And share your gift.

Time is precious,
and priceless, and finite.
Grab hold-
this life goes quick!

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 2.25.22

Beautiful Scars

Uncategorized

Beautiful scars
on both sides of my heart.
Proof that I will do anything,
and everything-
to stay right where you are.

My family and friends
are my world.
These life moments
are like gold.
Removing my breast cancer
is my act of intention
towards my will
for growing old.

A major life-changing,
life-saving decision.
A skin-sparing,
double mastectomy.
Letting go of all that is
no longer best for me.

I haven’t lost anything!
I’ve gained my life,
and more minutes.
I’m well on my way-
to a cancer-free me.
I am blessed. I am humble,
and I am in this to win it.

Beautiful scars-
on both sides of my heart,
tell a bigger life story
of survival, revival,
God’s amazing grace,
and His everlasting glory.

I Despise — Depression.

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

DEPRESSION –
Calls EVERY thing
Into question.
It never arrives-
To teach us a lesson.

It’s unrelenting,
Unforgiving,
So belittling.

It thrives on
Self-oppression,
Self-aggression,
And self-demise —

I DESPISE —
Depression.
NO question.

Behind our eyes
And our smile,
There’s a darkness
That can hold us-
Captive.
Triggers make it
Reactive.
The impact it has – on
Our Spirit, our mood,
Our ability to interact —
We retract.
Silently, slyly, shyly.
Not wanting to be a burden-
Yet, so desperately
Wanting to be heard – ‘n
Struggling to find
Enough courage
To purge it — out loud.
Our urge is — Too proud-
To let it all come out.

Instead—
We tend to suffer alone –
Inside our own head.
Keeping it to ourselves-
Is what we do best.

I pray for the day
When the topic of
Our mental health
Isn’t so taboo—

When our pride and ego
Can take a backseat — to-
Our vulnerability,
And reaching out-
To help others through.

Alone,
We can do so little.
Together,
There is so much more
We can ALL do —
Better.

Speaking openly
About our struggles-
Allows others
To feel comfortable
Doing the same.
It’s high time — for change.

I DESPISE —
Depression.
No question!

And if you,
Or someone you know,
Suffers from
Depression, too?
Reach out-
Check in-
Let them know
How much you care-
Even if you may not
Understand —
It makes a difference
Just knowing you’re there.