I'm a whimsical artist / painter and poet from Loveland, Colorado. I'm on a life journey of following my heart through creating poetry and art. I believe in being open and vulnerable through my poetry to be a voice for any who may find it inspiring, empowering, helpful or meaningful in their own lives. Creating art is my happy place and my way of painting the world with hope, smiles and a little splash of magic. "Hold onto those you love so dear. Memorize the moments as they pass by. Live, love and laugh all you can - and Make the most of this beautiful life." -Tanielle
Tree of life- Rooted, grounded, And founded On love. Built with our hopes, And dreams, And a future team of- Unified strength And rising above- The challenges, Battles and difficulties We’ll face. Together, we’re better For life’s uphill race.
Beautiful beginnings. A family- With children In the making. Each one precious, Each birth, breathtaking. In awe, overjoyed, And so overcome- By the miracle of life, The power of love. So much gratitude, And appreciation For our family who Surrounds us, Grounds us, And blankets us In their prayers. Together, with God, We will always Rise above Life’s many layers.
For seasons of change, They will come. And they will pass. A steady stream Of normalcy, And time racing by Too fast. Taking moments For granted. But knowing- Normal never lasts. Life can change, In the blink of an eye. Tell those you love- And that you Love them for life. Reach out and hug them. Hold onto them tight. Count your blessings When you’re with them, And be grateful- For every moment Of this magnificent life.
Generations of our ancestors, Rooted, grounded, And founded On an abundance of love. Our Tree of life. Our beautiful family. Eternally grateful to our Heavenly Father above.
A major life change- Unfolding swiftly Before me. Each day- A new wave, And an attempt At a brave face- With this tough, New reality. Breast Cancer, Has completely Dumbfounded me. It’s astounding- To me… Just how fast The Cancer Center Moves. With their patient’s care, There is no time to lose. Testing and directing you, Collecting results, Analyzing and presenting Everything They know. Offering their expertise, Comforting words, And best of all, HOPE. The cancer- Must be removed, And the time Is coming now. And my job As a patient Is to prepare myself… And I will- SOMEHOW. A mind-numbing Place in time, And so surreal. Some moments feel Much more- Like a dream, And —- it seems Almost impossible To swallow Or even digest A mere fraction of this- The magnitude Of all that is- Happening So fast. I’m tapping Into my inner Strength and courage, Hope and faith, My sacred space. But I do not And will not Feel sorry for me- Only uncertainty For all that is coming, And all that will be. For whatever reason, THIS— Is part of My life journey. A new chapter Of learning- Healing, And letting go, Overcoming, And BIG growth For me- Spiritually. Putting my full faith Into God- To carry me When I am tired, And weary. I feel in my heart Of hearts, That all will be okay… But I worry- Most about My beautiful family. And how THEY Are going to cope, And manage Around me. I MUST AND I WILL Get through this! For this— Is just a BIG bump In the road. This cancer- May be as fierce as a tiger, But I — I AM a fiercer fighter. And with the heart of a lion, I will prove That I am MIGHTIER!
Occupying my free time to avoid thinking too much about pending biopsy results. Painting made the waiting pass a little more easily and less frantically.
Breast Cancer Wasn’t the The answer I ever wanted to hear…
It hit me hard- Then fear Sank deep- Within my heart. The world paused- And Everything Around me- Faded out. I was suddenly, And completely Unaware of my Surroundings- As I momentarily, And mentally Checked out.
I felt numb. SO NUMB. Everything a blur. I went inward- To a quiet place As I soaked in Every word, And understood As much as I could- About this New and foreign Space. My heart raced.
Both Invasive And non-invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Tiny, but Potentially significant Calcifications Are present around This small mass- Alas- You’ll need an MRI Followed by- Meeting your Oncology team at MD Anderson Cancer Center Are you familiar?
Jeneane, Your nurse Navigator, Will be calling…
My heart- Continued falling. The ground Slowly crumbling Beneath my feet. As I was trying To wrap my head Around every Foreign word Just spoken to me.
I feel deeply Anxious about This whirlwind Of news… This flood Of sudden, But absolutely Necessary Slew- of Doctor’s Appointments Leading up to- Surgery, Recovery, The possibility Of A lumpectomy, Mastectomy? Reconstruction, Genetics testing Radiation Or hormonal Treatment therapy. The thought of Future cancer rediscovery? My mind Was racing Ahead of me- Why is all of this happening?
Breathe. Just breathe.
Cancer will not Get the best of me! This is just another Difficult life test for me. And I am ready… At least, I’m trying really hard- To be. Knowing Deep within my heart- God’s got me. No matter what. In my weakest moments, His grace and light Will carry me, And I will fight With every Ounce of life in me.
I am grounded. Re-grounded. I am humbled. Re-humbled. I am grateful. Newly grateful, For every blessing I have taken for granted. I am blessed. So very blessed. With the best- Friends and family And support I feel All around me.
My happily ever after Isn’t the perfect body, The perfect house, Or the perfect life. It’s love and laughter. It’s God’s light. It’s family and friends, And moments together No matter the weather. It’s overcoming, And conquering Every life obstacle, And beating CANCER. It’s living a long And happy life In remission- AFTER.
Beauty exists In the everyday Mundane. Happiness exists In life’s littlest And simplest of things.
I am deeply grateful For this life. And I am scared. Please lift me up In your prayers. I can do this. I will get through this.
(Please ladies, go get your mammogram! This happened within 1-1/2 years since my last. I didn’t feel a lump. The doctor’s assistant didn’t feel a lump. I requested a mammogram. That mammogram showed a tiny mass – the size of a pencil eraser. That find led to a 3D scan and an ultrasound. I was given the option of waiting and rechecking in 6 months time or a breast biopsy to find out in a few days time. I chose the biopsy and my cancer was detected, thank God! It is scary, but so necessary. Please don’t hesitate. Advocate for yourself and your body. Trust your gut and don’t ever question it.)
Life’s precious moments Are fleeting- Your tiny feet Pitter-pattering While squealing, Scurrying And running All throughout Our tiny house…
Be still, my heart.
Your giggles And wiggles One-liners, Two-worders, Three-worders, And more. Your sentences And sassiness, With occasional Meowing And barking On all fours.
Your grumbles And mumbles Growls and sighs.
Your tiny little voice, And adorable pouting face With half-closed eyes.
Your deep voice – singing, And ukulele strumming- While leaning into your mic.
Your drumsticks- In the form of Two chopsticks, Banging and clanging On everything in sight.
Pwaying bwocks , Watching Grizzy Or Gabby, And going outside.
Pretend cooking- Making coffee and cake In your mini kitchen Not far from mine.
Snuggling And cuddling. Breakfast, cartoons, And morning bath time.
These precious Life moments- Are God’s greatest gifts To be cherished for A lifetime!
I’m grateful For every Single moment I get to spend Right by your side.
Be still, my heart!
I love you forever And always! I love you forever In ALL ways!
I Run for Sanity, Not Vanity – and in loving honor of our loved ones!
Growing up, I hated running – with a passion! Running around as a child always ended in wheezing and the need for my emergency inhaler in order to breathe normal again. Allergy and exercise induced asthma. No fun for anyone, but I felt lucky to have medicine to help me breathe when I couldn’t and panicky when an attack would come on and my inhaler wasn’t by my side.
Fast forward to age 36 and the year 2012. Married to my best friend and 2 kids under our belt! Our daughter, age 7 and son, age 4. August 9th of 2012 was our 19 week ultrasound to find out the gender of our 3rd surprise pregnancy. A difficult pregnancy from the start. We went as a family to our 19 week gender ultrasound ecstatic to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. Instead, we learned our baby no longer had a heartbeat. There are no words for the heartache and emptiness that followed. I delivered our son, Dason, born sleeping on August 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm.
I felt completely and utterly shattered. I felt like a failure. My body failed to keep him alive. A week later I was told by my midwife at my post birth follow up appointment (at the same place I learned of our baby’s passing) – that my blood pressure was still too high. She went on to say that because of this, I would most likely have high blood pressure issues for the rest of my life. And the best way to get over a loss is to have another baby. Those words still burn me deeply inside. They felt cold and heartless and without much compassion for the pain that had torn my heart completely in two.
Her words ate me alive —- but she doesn’t define what my future holds for me —- and I was now on a mission to prove her wrong. Her biting words lit a fire inside me that still burns with drive inside me to this very day.
At 6 weeks post birth, I was cleared for exercise and I immediately jumped in with both feet and joined a boot camp with my friends to begin strength training. I needed to take back control of my life. These same ladies began inviting me to the track afterwards to “run”. I thought they were absolutely crazy for wanting to do this, but the exercise was helping me battle my postpartum depression, so I relented and tagged along. Their fantastic company is the only thing that kept me going to that track. This is how running found me at age 36. Or jog/walking rather. Let’s be honest.
Running found me at one of the hardest times in my life and after about 6-8 weeks of jog/walking, I accidentally and unintentionally fell head over heals in love with running! Jogging and still being able to breathe was something I had never known before. It felt like some kind of super power that I had somehow and miraculously unleashed! It was pure adrenaline!!! How does the saying go??….Never say never!
Running became my time to cry, my time to pray and my time to be with my unborn son in spirit. And boy did I feel his spirit all around me along with God … each day carrying me through the flames to a brighter and healthier life, one step at a time. Running made me a better mom. It helped me to battle my depression, my anxiety and my stress. Running became everything I needed to get me through life and the very last thing in this world I ever expected to love. I ran for sanity, not vanity and in honor of our son. When I ran, my heart beat for him.
Today, I run for all of my loved ones who are heaven sent and for all those I love who remain here. My loved ones are the wings that continue giving flight to my life carrying me onward, upward and through it.
I run for sanity, not vanity. I run with purpose and intention. And I run for my mental health most of all. Running makes me feel alive and balanced and grateful for this life. I started running at 36, and at 45, I can honestly say that running is one of the very best things that has ever happened to me. My unborn son’s life and death awakened me and I share my story for anyone else it might help along the way. We weren’t meant to journey alone.
Tomorrow, Sunday, September 19, 2021, my husband and I will be running the Fall Equinox Half Marathon down Poudre Canyon wearing these shirts proudly. Thinking of and running with our loved ones in spirit for 13.1 beautiful miles. I’m nervous, excited and grateful to have another chance to conquer this run (or at least survive it) … because we still can. Our hearts will beat for them! Wish us luck!!! 💜🙏🏼💜🏃♀️
A ‘focus with intent’ body of work created to inspire, empower and invoke personal growth.
(Left to Right, Top to Bottom – “I Am Enough”, “I Am Passionate”, “I Am Healing”, “I Am Empowered”, “I Am Determined”, and “I Am Courageous”)
These 6 paintings are part of my “I AM” Series of acrylic works focusing with intent on positive self reinforcement words and the emotion behind the use of color and its impact. My hope is to empower and inspire change and acceptance within ourselves and celebrate the ‘human’ part of ourselves. We as humans are perfectly imperfect and a constant work in progress to better ourselves and learn from the lessons along the way.
What is one thing you would like to focus with intent on?
These original paintings 8×8 acrylic WILL BE AVAILABLE for purchase at this year’s Art in the Park at North Lake Park in Loveland, Colorado on Sat., Aug. 7th and Sun., Aug. 8th. at booth A-13. I will be there both days alongside my brother and my mom who each have their own art to show and sell. I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE!
As our birthday nears, I find myself A little lost- And Quiet in my Thoughts Of remembering YOU- First learning of you. Celebrating you. Losing you. Mourning you.
Differently- This year. But again- Anyway. And more- These last few Days. But in reality- Most likely… Always.
Blindsided. This- Shadow grief… Each time my mind Sneaks- Back to you, This day. Your day. Our day. And letting go… But- Not by my choice My voice Cracks, My heart clenches- Tightly. I choke up. Swallowing hard- Trying to collect myself- Politely. Imploring it all to pass But alas- It arrives anyway-
My emotions Pooling. Welling up. Sorrow spilling- Lightly… This releasing Of you- Once again. Quietly. Just Feeling a little sad… On this melancholy, Pre-celebratory Day. My Mom’s birthday, My birthday, And the day I miscarried You Naturally— On July 7th Back in 2017. Happy almost birthday, Sweet Talin! I love you ALWAYS. I love you DEEPLY. I will love you FOREVER… Unconditionally- And Completely.
I see you in the Butterflies That come To say hello. And in the hawks Perched on landings Or flying overhead Watching over Our family Wherever we go- I feel you in my heart And with me In spirit. And I will- Go on missing you Forever, But each year Better. And tomorrow I’ll be celebrating You and hope Wherever you are, That you hear it!
Two of my favorite things … nature and bright, happy colors! I have a bag of mini tree rounds and when our 2 year old tells me it’s time to ‘paint’ or ‘cu-yer’ (color) – she does her coloring and I paint my mini slices into these. Today the magnets arrived and the hand-painted mini tree slices came to life as really cool little magnets. I may not have loads of time to paint these days – but I get in what I can…when I can! These colors make my heart smile! And 2 year olds are the best!
From all social media She laid low The life she lived She took back And made it her own Again No more show And tell She fell Silent To the world around her Let solidarity and peace Surround her She was no longer Bound to her Need to please Need for acceptance Need to somehow Prove her self worth Now She aimed to Please herself by Doing things She knew might Fill her heart With joy and love Her rising above Society’s unrealistic Expectations Of what a woman And mother Should look like and be We Are human And yes, we are Super women But not by Society’s definition We are Perfectly imperfect Just the way we are In the now With every one of Our hard earned Tiger stripes And scars And we are Beautiful In our every shape And size As our amazing bodies Transform Throughout our lives I hereby declare We are Our own prize Unobjectified And we deserve To respect And love ourselves For far more Than just our outsides
There’s something magical- About a midnight sky… Blanketed by stars; A million dancing little lights.
The soft glow of the crescent moon- The silky haze of the Milky Way. There’s something beautiful In the thought- That half of the world’s dreams Will soon be underway.
There’s something peaceful- About the cool midnight air. A calming and soothing energy- A time of gratitude, reflection, And prayer.
There’s a spiritual shift- When the bustling day Finally winds down, And transforms into night. It’s the perfect time- To wish upon a star… To snuggle up close, And tuck your loved ones in- Just right.
There’s something magical About a midnight sky… Silent within our own thoughts, And millions of prayers Reaching up towards the heavens- Each night.
There’s a magic- Comforting us from way up high; A twinkling beacon of hope- Watching over this side of the world- Until the next sun begins to rise-
DEPRESSION – Calls EVERY thing Into question. It never arrives- To teach us a lesson.
It’s unrelenting, Unforgiving, So belittling.
It thrives on Self-oppression, Self-aggression, And self-demise —
I DESPISE — Depression. NO question.
Behind our eyes And our smile, There’s a darkness That can hold us- Captive. Triggers make it Reactive. The impact it has – on Our Spirit, our mood, Our ability to interact — We retract. Silently, slyly, shyly. Not wanting to be a burden- Yet, so desperately Wanting to be heard – ‘n Struggling to find Enough courage To purge it — out loud. Our urge is — Too proud- To let it all come out.
Instead— We tend to suffer alone – Inside our own head. Keeping it to ourselves- Is what we do best.
I pray for the day When the topic of Our mental health Isn’t so taboo—
When our pride and ego Can take a backseat — to- Our vulnerability, And reaching out- To help others through.
Alone, We can do so little. Together, There is so much more We can ALL do — Better.
Speaking openly About our struggles- Allows others To feel comfortable Doing the same. It’s high time — for change.
I DESPISE — Depression. No question!
And if you, Or someone you know, Suffers from Depression, too? Reach out- Check in- Let them know How much you care- Even if you may not Understand — It makes a difference Just knowing you’re there.
To the best and most beautiful creations of my life
In such uncertain times, with the fires consuming our beautiful state of Colorado, with Covid #s rising again and with the looming presidential election upon us creating so much negativity and divisiveness….these life moments feel more fleeting to me than ever before!
Our time here is but a blink and so are these precious moments with our children and loved ones – which I’ve been guilty of taking for granted time and time again. I want nothing more than to comfort my children and reassure them of more certain times ahead, not really knowing what that looks or feels like. I feel helpless in so many ways as a mom. I’m doing my best, but have I done enough??? That question keeps me up at night! My kids are 16, 12 and 18 months. I lie next to our youngest at night, watching her sleep … and wish I could go back in time and spend more time with my older 2 doing the same…..these moments are truly life’s greatest treasure.
Art has had to take a back seat (and I miss it terribly), but I still have time to write poetry as I lie in bed with a mind that refuses to rest … this poem came to me the other night and would not leave me until I wrote (texted) it down in a message to myself … and then to our oldest 2. It’s so important to always let them know how you feel and to say it often because you just never know what tomorrow holds.
To my children – the best and most beautiful creations of my lifetime:
If I could… I’d hug you tight. I’d snuggle and cuddle you Through the night.
I’d comfort you- And hold you close. I’d rub your face, And kiss your nose.
I’d bring you peace, And let you rest. I’d pause the world- And take your stress.
I’d make your every Dream come true. I’d squeeze your hand- And celebrate you!
I’d remind you Of all the wonderful ways- You brighten my world On the darkest of days.
I’d look into Your beautiful eyes- And tell you, “I love you!” A thousand more times.
I’d hug you close- And never let go. I’d freeze the moments And never grow old.
If I could… Go back in time, I’d spend more hours With your hand in mine.
I’d play with you, And sing with you. I’d dance the whole night Through with you.
We’d walk and talk And stare up at the sky, And watch the clouds And the world go by.
We’d wish upon Every twinkling star- And soak in every moment Wherever we are.
We’d giggle and laugh The whole day through- Telling dad jokes & bad jokes, And mom jokes, too.
If I could… Go back in time- I’d make more moments For your heart and mine.
I love you more than All the stars that shine. I’m your biggest fan & I’ll always- Carry your heart inside mine.
I will love you forever And always… I will be proud of you forever In ALL ways!
Letting go
Of all the things
No longer serving me.
Poor excuses,
Self Pity,
And self image negativity.
I am UNbecoming
The loudest critic
Deep within me.
A new decade.
A new year.
New Self-love and respect
For everything
My body has done for me.
Feeling immense gratitude
For every gift
God has laid out before me,
And for every moment in difficult times,
Where His light and grace
Have carried me.
Actions
Speak louder than words-
My body is healed.
And I am ready… Finally!
Body, mind and soul,
Are you listening?
There will be days
Where I’m up before dawn
Rebuilding
Re-instilling
And Reigniting
The fighting spirit inside me.
Regaining my strength,
Endurance,
And ability-
One step at a time
Toward the future me I see.
Removing the inner chaos
And making way-
For mental peace and clarity.
Re-grounding my spirit,
And doing my best
To love myself fairly.
Opening my heart,
And listening carefully.
Being present more often
For our beautiful,
And growing family.
Focusing
With intention,
Purpose, fortitude,
Patience and positivity.
Our children are watching
How I navigate and tackle
Every obstacle-
Life places in front of me.
I am becoming,
And overcoming daily.
Relentlessly.
And nothing will stop me.
Nothing.
I AM BECOMING.
Lying under the midnight sky,
Gazing up through the darkness above me.
Captivated by each flittering star-
An energy grows inside me.
The earth – so comforting, so gentle, so still.
The breeze electrifies every hair on my body-
Chills tingle inside and out.
The silence calms my tensions and worries.
And time no longer keeps count.
Everywhere around me – darkness stands motionless.
Shadows are frozen in time.
I can feel the energy glowing from within me-
I am the light-
And the darkness is mine.
Waves of grief break you down time and time again,
And it’s up to you to find a way through it-
Whether you crawl, walk or swim.
Dig deep, for strength lies far below the surface-
Below your sorrow, anger, and insecurities.
Below where your heart now painfully bleeds.
Beneath the sadness that makes it hard to breathe.
Release the weight of your sorrow-
And allow your heart to cry.
Break down your wall and allow yourself to feel-
And move through the emotions you’ve locked away inside.
For a time, it feels as though all the good in life has died.
It feels like the darkness will forever transcend the light.
But releasing this heartache will ease your burden,
And soon, you’ll be alright.
Find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
And it’s okay not to be okay every second of every day.
You don’t always have to remain strong.
In grieving, there is no right or wrong.
One foot in front of the other, one baby step at a time.
Believe me, when I tell you, there is no set timeline-
On when, how long, or how often you will grieve.
Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need.
And please give yourself permission to be held,
To be loved and supported in times when you feel weak.
Accept the same help you offer up so eagerly-
And be patient, for God is mending your wings.
Allow your spirit to evolve, adapt and transform.
Breathe and allow yourself the gift of being reborn-
A new chapter, a new way, a new norm.
Slowly over time, you will begin to see a new light.
The beginning of a new day with a new you, from the inside.
And when you find the courage to stand tall and rise again-
Use your new found strength, the compassion in your heart,
And the love and support from your family and friends.
And have faith — The sky is the limit with God in it.
He sat with you through darkness, so you could see the light.
And He held your broken heart as you mourned this loss of life.
And as you begin to emerge from the darkness into the light,
God will be holding your hand as you don your new wings
And take flight – towards the new you – and a new way of life.
Thank you from my heart to all who came out to Art in the Park over the weekend! It was an incredible show and weekend and I met so many amazing people. I genuinely and wholeheartedly loved getting to talk with everyone one on one. Seeing people connect to my art in such a positive way – seeing them smiling, excited and inspired…is priceless and a profound reminder to me that no matter how difficult this path may sometimes be, it is the path I was meant to be on. It’s who I am and what I was meant to do. Thank you all for inspiring me to want to create more and more art. I can’t wait to get back in my studio because of you.Thank you from my heart! Truly!💜
My heart falls to the lowest of lows
When a life is lost that I love.
But my heart, too, feels the highest of highs
When I’m filled with immense gratitude and love.
I am passionate about the heart of this life
And every journey here on earth.
I speak openly of life and death
And all that I have learned.
All of the moments spent with family and friends
Are times I treasure most.
I hold onto those with all of my hear
And keep them very close.
In times of grief, I reflect on my life
And dive in to understand.
Every day brings a brand new set of emotions
And I welcome them the best I can.
In allowing these emotions to move through me,
My heart is overcome by all that it feels.
But I’m giving my spirit permission to cry
And to take this time to heal.
When I fall, I fall hard.
I shake my fist at the sky and cry my way through-
But I love this life and the family I have
And I’ll stand tall again with strength anew.
I am moved to write down these moments as I feel them-
About the emotions that tug at my heart.
I believe our lives are about connecting with one another
We were not meant to go through it alone or apart.
Starting over is a far cry from easy.
There are days when it feels harder than it needs to be.
Moments when life feels as though it’s defeating me.
Deflating me. Cheating me.
Making me fight just to keep the peace in me.
Shadowing the light I try to keep alive inside of me.
Days when giving up feels like an easier choice for me.
Just rolling over and letting life get the very best of me.
Giving in and allowing the tough times to conquer me.
But, that’s not how I want the story to end for me.
These hard times are breaking me down
And allowing me to build a better me.
Teaching me new faith and strength
And renewing my belief in me.
I know I have what it takes
To be the best version of me I’m able to be.
I’ve never been one to give up so easily.
The dawn of a new day
Gives way to another fight for me.
One foot in front of the other
Towards the person, I wish to be.
Acknowledging my emotions
And taking time out for the healing of me.
Celebrating the moments in every small victory.
Pausing to take in this beautiful world that surrounds me.
Feeling the love and support all around me.
I will take these broken wings
And learn to fly — To defy gravity.
Today was a really tough day for me,
But it will not be the last of me.
I’ll be back tomorrow-
To rise up again against the weak in me.
To push forward beyond my own negativity.
Letting go of my poor self-image
And all the doubts I have in me-
And run towards everything
God put me on this earth to be.
TANiELLE ART 