The ‘Soulshine’ title is symbolic of the inner light, joy, and resilience that comes from deep within a person’s spirit, especially during or following hard times.
Difficult times don’t define us. They arise and remind us Of who we are at our core, And what we are made of. They don’t happen to make us bitter. I believe they arrive to make us better; Humble reminders of what matters most, They ground us, and renew our compassion And grace for one another, and the battles we face- And they have the ability to make our souls shine, And radiate so much bigger and brighter- If only we have the courage to keep our hearts Open – to the possibility.
This painting celebrates the vibrancy of life, And the light that radiates outward – even in the aftermath.
I know Everyone won’t like My poetry, What I paint, The art I create, Or what I have to say.
I know what I do Isn’t everyone’s Cup of tea. And that doesn’t Offend me. If it’s not for you, That’s totally Okay.
I am also well aware That I am not the best At any one thing I do. But I do MY best Doing what I love, And I feel immense Gratitude When I get to share My passions With each one of you.
Writing poetry And creating art Feel like Breathing air for me. Both – are necessary. Both – I feel deeply.
Making art is Chasing joy, Imagination, Color. Magic, And beauty. It’s paint- Celebrating, And dancing, It’s energy. It’s transforming, And healing.
Writing poetry Is the art of sorting And processing life. Like solving A jigsaw puzzle Of emotions- With rhythm And sound And your own Heartbeat In an open diary. Whether it’s Reflective, Nostalgic, Complex, Painful, Confusing, And messy. It’s a beautiful Art of raw Vulnerability And humanity.
What fulfills me most Is human connection. And doing my best To be a beacon Of light- And inspiration To others. Because those Who inspire me, Make this life Feel more freeing,, With more purpose And meaning- And there are many!
I want to Remind you- That you don’t Have to be THE very best- In order to be A bright light For those around you. Be brave enough To chase your dreams And help make This world More vibrant just By offering YOUR best At whatever it is You feel called to do. Following your heart Doesn’t have to be Perfect. It just needs you To keep showing up, And keep following through- And I really hope you do.
I’m learning… What it is to have an Extreme duality of emotions In cancer survivorship. And that it’s okay To acknowledge and accept it Fully. Deeply. And honestly.
I am a breast cancer Survivor. I’m currently In remission- I have really great days- Where I feel confident, Positive. Hopeful. A small piece Of the carefree Light-hearted version of me. And yet- I still go through darkness. Really difficult times That feel extremely Isolating, depressing, And incredibly lonely.
I wouldn’t wish these days On anyone I love. It’s a very challenging Place to be. It feels like no one around me Really gets me- Not anymore. Not really. And I don’t want to drop the heavy On anyone around me. I’m happy they Don’t feel how I feel, But my spirit sure Longs for someone Who did- In these moments When I feel so sad and conflicted.
I feel guilty for feeling Ungrateful- When I know I should be thankful Because I’m still living- And I am- I feel both.
I’m beyond grateful – And I’m utterly heartbroken. I’m so angry- And I’m also glad. I’m so gracious for my body- For fighting And healing- And winning, so far- And I absolutely hate it. It makes me cry, And it makes me mad When I look in the mirror And remember What I used to have.
I’m learning Slowly. That it is completely okay To feel the extremes together- To grieve and to celebrate In the same conflicting breath. Because- As a cancer survivor- Every new day, Is another attempt To confront, sit with, and be okay With whatever this day’s Current emotion is.
I woke up yesterday from a night of bad dreams, and the moment I opened my eyes, these words started pouring out of me and I knew I had to get them down in order to be able to let this go … for whatever it’s worth, these are my two cents…
The tough times Aren’t meant To break us. They’re meant to Shape and sculpt us Into who we are Becoming – The next level Of growth In who we are Meant to be.
The tears We shed Are meant to Humble us, And ground us. A reminder for us Of the kindness And compassion This world, And people Surrounding us- Need.
We’re all fighting Battles Or health issues Behind Closed doors Most people Never see.
These days, I would argue, Most of us Are often Disconnected,, Over-stimulated, Rarely present, And too busy To process and Heal from All the things That continue To make our Mind, body, And spirit Bleed… Including me.
The overwhelm. Our constant Hustle and bustle- Always moving. This world Is always in a hurry. We’re so busy Speeding through Our days From A to B To C to D to E. Just to get by. Just to provide- For our families. And then- Many of us Are struggling to sleep, And the hours of rest We actually get- Never feel like Enough- At least for me.
The mindless scrolling, Binge-watching, Numbing, vanity-driven Distractions Are carrying us all Further and further away From the true meaning Of this life And living- Daily. This frightening pattern Is slowly killing The very fabric That connects us. The deeper connection, And sense of community Is meant to support And protect us. As people- We are more divided, And more conflicted Than ever before- Slamming each other Online in comments Behind screens And closed doors Over disagreements… Disagreements- Over the muddied, Skewed and Extremely divided Waters of corrupt Media outlets and politics. This division Doesn’t suit us. It’s gutting us. Turning us Against one another. The hate Certainly won’t fix this. And I’ll be honest When I say, I don’t know What the answer is- But I do believe this-
We all need To pause, To reconnect With ourselves, To God, The universe, And our hearts. We need more time Out in nature. More peace, And quiet, More time to Think and breathe- To reflect, meditate And pray. To sit and listen To the silence. Allowing ourselves To reset And to just be… To be at ease- To listen to the breeze, Watching the birds Flutter, soar, And dance Across the sky, So effortlessly. It’s live poetry- In motion… To just sit still And watch the clouds Form and fade, Build up, roll in, And release Snow or rain, Or allow Warm sunshine To shine through The cracks And down Upon our face. The raw beauty, Of this world And the wildlife buzzing All around us Is a gift to behold. The awe-inspiring Magic of our earth. The power, the fragility, And true honor Of what it means To breathe, To be alive, To be alongside Our loved ones, To be present, And to feel heard.
We all want the same. We all want better- For ourselves, For our children, And grandchildren. For our country, And for each other. Let’s all do better- And be better- For the higher good.
The pure magic And beauty of this life And this world Is so profound And powerful, And suddenly Becomes exponentially More meaningful When a test or tests Call your current health Into question.
The sky, the clouds, The colors of the sunrise And sunset- The trees, the birds And majestic Colorado Snow-capped mountain tops. The open fields And still waters. If we just pause For a moment And ponder… Just how lucky are we To be surrounded By such magnificent beauty. I’m continually in awe Of nature’s tranquility. In times like this- The sheer beauty Just hits me- Differently.
Waking up each morning And getting to rise With the ones That you love. Getting to see them, And tell them good morning, And being able to Show them your love. And oh- The pure magic In their heartfelt, And comforting hugs. What a gift. What magic to behold. These simple treasures Make us far richer Than any amount Of gold.
I am over the moon Grateful For this life, For our family, And all of our friends. For our laughter, And every moment- Together. For our memories, Adventures, And light-hearted Shenanigans. For the gift Of this new day. For getting to Rise again- For this moment Right now, For the air I breathe, And for the strength Of my body Still carrying me- Forward. And onward. I am grateful!
My six-month breast cancer Check-up last Friday With my oncologist- Turned into seven because I forgot. I forgot to schedule it Because I was so busy living- And the forgetting, for me, Was a blessing… Because remembering – is a lot!
Before this day came, I was unbothered and untroubled. After all, this was just another normal Follow-up doctor’s appointment I needed to go to. But when I was pulling into The Harmony Cancer Center that day, My mood suddenly shifted. I felt a heaviness welling up inside my heart. I was taken aback. And these emotions Caught me completely off guard.
As I walked into the cancer center, I looked around at all the people present Waiting for their name to be called, As I patiently waited in line To be checked in for mine. Some wore hats To cover their balding heads from chemo. Some sat alone in silence Staring out the windows At the falling snow and gray skies. While others sat with their spouses And filled their waiting time With comforting words, Loving nudges and a bit of normalcy. Today, the cancer center was busy, And bustling.
I was a mixed bag Of so many different emotions… Bouncing, in real-time, From one right into the next. I stood trying to wrap my head around The complexity of all that I was feeling. And what I was feeling Felt heavy and intense.
I meandered around And found a chair that offered Bright colored landscapes on the wall In front of me to get lost in, And large windows close by To see the beautiful tree outside- That was somehow grounding. And something I found comfort in.
And I sat alone in silence, Sipping my hot coffee With honey and cinnamon- Reflecting, observing And remembering the journey That landed me in this space. The traumas still come back To haunt me from time to time. Like today. Coming back was a trigger I wasn’t prepared for in any way.
My grief is still present, Though not as often as it once was. And my sadness still lingers. Though most of it, I have chosen to let go of. But all that I felt was a reminder That I am still healing From all that I endured. That I am not done processing Everything I’ve been through. And I’m still hoping for one day, a cure. I’m healing slowly, but surely And that’s okay. Little bit by little bit, Over an extended time… Because healing never happens Overnight.
When my name was called, I stood tall and followed my nurse Like a robot going through the motions. Weight and height check- Followed by my vitals and questions Around depression and how I’m managing. Overall, I feel a sense of pride For getting through and to Where I’m at today. That said, I still have moments Where I struggle to accept My new normal as being okay.
After my nurse left, and as I sat waiting For my oncologist to arrive, I snapped this photo of myself Because it’s a moment To be celebrated. This was my high-five. I felt happy and grateful To still be here- To still be alive.
But when I look at This photo of myself, I see every emotion I was feeling And sitting with, Even though I thought I was hiding it. I see everything That tugged at my heart that day. I see happiness and inner peace. I see a deep sadness And a sense of unease. But I see immense gratitude- And a good attitude toward Being in remission– And I also see that I am not defined By one or the other. I see that I am all of them- Intertwined together… And a work-in-progress I will be– Forever.
I’m so proud of you For getting through Every hardship, Every battle, And every struggle That came from Every difficult storm You walked through.
I’m so proud of you For every part Of grief you Overcame. For moving through Every feeling You felt, For allowing Your heart to cry- As you Stoically, Quietly, Or powerfully, And painfully Wept.
I’m so proud- That when the timing Was just right for you, You chose To finally Let it all go. Let go of your pain, And suffering, The anger, And sorrow, And everything That no longer Served you- And in the same breath You decided To step outside of Your comfort zone. And you chose Joy and happiness. You chose to rise, and To spread your wings, In order to grow, And glow Into the new, Courageous, Powerful and Radiant YOU.
Shine your light bright For the whole wide world To see- And to feel. Choose to Love yourself A whole lot more, And a whole lot better… Please promise me You will. Please offer yourself Forgiveness, And allow yourself More grace- With even more space For love, compassion, And patience… For doing your best. For who you are And where you are- Right now At this very moment, And in this place. Because- You and I both know That this life isn’t easy! And I just wanted you to know- That I think you’re doing great!
It’s been a rough stretch- Mentally. I draw in a deep breath- As I feel the clouds Begin to lift. This darkness- Has felt so heavy. This grieving- Of who I was before- Cancer. And struggling To accept myself Unconditionally, As I am now- After. So much was lost, And I was happy With who I was. And I don’t yet see Anything That has been gained- Out of who I have become. If I’m being honest, Breast cancer Has made me feel Less like a woman, Weaker as a person, And so much more Sadness as a human. I would not wish this On anyone. I have been Profoundly humbled By my life journey. I understand The fragility of life, And the importance Of moments spent Both happy And hurting. I struggle to understand The purpose behind All that has been taken- And I would be lying If I said There weren’t moments Where I have felt Like I have been Forsaken. But I will forge ahead For my family- And do my best To hold my head high. And I will do so With as much strength And hope As I can find- Cancer has taken So much from me- But I will never Give it the power To define- The rest of my lifetime.
F it. FIGHT it. FINISH it. FIND a cure. FIND a way to THRIVE, despite it. And FORGET it, even if only for a moment.
FOCUS on HEALING and self-care. And know that it’s okay to FEEL like your diagnosis isn’t FAIR.
FEEL the big LOVE surrounding you, And all of the support rallying all around you.
FIND BEAUTY in the quiet moments. Remember what really matters and what doesn’t, and then let go of it!
Bid FAREWELL to all that does not support you healthily. And do what’s best for you- both physically and mentally.
FIND JOY in the small things. Keep FAITH and hope alive. Don’t sweat that, which you cannot control. Stop FIGHTING your tears. Allow them to FLOW, and then let it all go.
FIND and allow FORGIVENESS and grace, and practice both daily. Allow yourself time and space to meditate and pray, FAITHFULLY.
And FEEL your FEELINGS all the way through. But remember that cancer does not define you.
Give your anger a voice, and then kill it with kindness. And give your sadness a huge hug- Because sadness reminds us- that we’re only human, going through an extremely difficult human experience!
FIND your STRENGTH. FEEL your POWER. And dig deep for the courage to battle all the way to the FINISH LINE. And then FIND, rediscover and recreate the new you – and your new life… And I hope you choose to shine.
Stand tall alongside all of the other courageous warriors, cancer survivors, and thrivers- Who will continue loving and supporting you, FIGHTING with, and FOR you- and cheering you on for the rest of time, from the sideline.
And honor those who have sadly lost their battle by living your best life for the rest of your life.
You are more powerful than you know. And most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I’ve grown To understand- There is great power In acceptance. By surrendering To your current reality, You free up Enormous space & energy. Stop fighting- A losing battle. Choose to rise up, And light- A brand new candle. Open your heart And your mind Toward new, Forward movement, And opportunities. This eye-opening Realization Will become- Your blossoming, Your purpose, Your new identity. It’s time to surrender, And finally let go- Of your anger, Bitterness, And sorrow. For holding on- Will only hold off Tomorrow. And fighting it Will only- Keep you stuck In your same old, Broken tracks. Pray for the courage To move on- In faith, and hope And for new possibilities. For the time has come- For you to take Your power back.
Life is An ebb and flow- Of change And letting go. A rearranging- Of old routines And goodbyes From what You used to know. And this- You MUST do In order to welcome The new you. You must Brace yourself- To embrace Your changed life, To see it all In a new light- In preparation For this new chapter, And a changing Of the tides… And you might find- That you admire The stronger you More than- You could have Ever imagined. I know that’s A tough realization To try and fathom… And that’s not to say- There won’t be days Where you miss The old you, And what used to be- See… We are human, And we seek comfort In the familiar. We love to reminisce In the days when we- Remember… Happiness, bliss, And laughter. We wish We could hold onto The precious moments We’ve captured- With our loved ones And friends. But this BIG life change Isn’t the end. We must find the courage To reinvent ourselves And our lives, And be willing to let go Of old familiarities- For growth happens When we refuse To give up so easily. We must strive To find and feel Adventure And excitement- In this newness. Taking in And feeling grateful for- Each moment And everything We’ve been blessed with. Change is so- HARD. Incredibly hard! Believe me, I get this. But if you can Learn to begin again… Your end Can blossom- Into something beautiful, Magical and meaningful. The end Of one chapter- Might just be The beginning Of a different kind of Happily ever after… Just keep going!
Dedicated to my kids … because life is never easy – and not without change. And because I want to make sure I pour my heart out in its entirety while I’m still here….And I want my words to continue speaking to their hearts long after I’m gone. 💛
“You CAN Overcome Anything”
The truth is You CAN handle Whatever comes your way- No matter how big Or how hard- The life change. You don’t handle Everything all at once- Or all in one day. You handle it In baby steps, And long, deep breaths. You handle it- Moment by moment. Just make the next Right decision- And do your best. Sometimes- You handle it- With tears and talks And late night texts. You handle it- With lots of hugs, And I love yous. You handle it- With naps and walks, Movies, ice cream, Self-care, laughing, Praying and gratitude. You handle it- With those Who have your back- At every turn. Just keep going… Lean into the change- And always- Learn. You handle it- Little bit by little bit. And as you begin To adjust to the changes- You can gradually Let go of the heaviness- Or the overbearing weight of it. And even if you never Fully get over it- You CAN get through it. You ARE strong enough. You ARE capable. And I believe- With all of my heart- That you CAN do it. I love you- With everything That I am- And for as long As I am able to… I promise To hold your heart- And love you Through it- No matter what. You are capable And strong enough- To get through- And overcome The hard stuff.
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
This was written the day my chemo port was placed, and the night before my very first chemo treatment. I was terrified of all of the unknowns. I leaned into God at every scary turn and it was everything I needed and more – to get me through it. May this poem find those who need it and offer up all of the same to you in your time of need or for someone you love! Love, light and giant hugs to all going through their own life battles right now. May we become beacons of light in the eye of the storm we’re in, to give hope to all those who follow a similar life journey! 💗💗💗
Laughter is the best medicine – so don’t forget to laugh as often as possible to get those endorphins coming your way. Stay strong!
God’s grace- is a glorious place. A prayerful, and meditative state- filled with peace, unconditional love, and safe keeping. Releasing, And unleashing me from all that burdens my weary, and tethered mind- to fearful, and unkind thoughts- that slowly rise up to the tip top. Becoming louder And more prominent, and dominant than my faith. I pause in reflection- And feel God beckon me back- to trust in Him completely. To not fear this road I see in front of me. But to believe in Him, And to seek the beauty, amongst the rubble He has lovingly bestowed upon me. I must always retrace my steps- back to the quiet, prayerful space- when I feel lost- And He will come to greet me, and I must lean in with everything I am- to learn every lesson He is teaching me. I feel renewed by the power of faith He has restored within me. He refuses to give up on me. God’s grace is everything. Even through all of these life trials, and tribulations- I am humbled and blessed by the outpouring of God’s greatest kindnesses, and I am wholeheartedly, and profoundly gracious. I will do my very best to remain steadfast, and courageous- in the face of- my greatest challenges. God’s grace- Is the most glorious, and peaceful place. Where my tears of gratitude stream freely. Where my heart is overcome by His eternal, and everlasting love for me. God’s grace never ceases- to amaze me. His amazing grace always finds me in the dark, and reaches out with his undying love- to once again save me…
Life’s most precious moments- are fleeting. My heart is alive and well, and still beating.
I’ve been busy living every minute- to the fullest. In the quiet moments, I am grieving. But in the face of it all, I remain upright and stoic.
I may crumble in the dark- but God brings me right back to His light. I may get angry at the journey that lies in front of me. But God is holding my hand tight.
I didn’t ask for this, and I’d rather not have to do it. But God brought me to this- and He will bring me through it.
I choose to set my sights on every silver lining that lies before me. I choose faith over fear, and I hold onto hope with all the courage I have- even while I am mourning.
I believe wholeheartedly that our life journey is for a reason. We may not understand our hardships or life difficulties- but we must remain steadfast, trust in Him and keep believing.
I will give my all- to be a beacon of bright light for all who may go down a similar life journey. This isn’t me going into battle. This is me going through some tough-ass moments, letting go, big personal growth, and so much learning.
Cancer does not, and will not ever define me. I will rise and face the music directly in front of me, bask in God’s healing light, and breathe in peace, as I begin the painful process of leaving this cancer behind me.
TANiELLE ART 