The ‘Soulshine’ title is symbolic of the inner light, joy, and resilience that comes from deep within a person’s spirit, especially during or following hard times.
Difficult times don’t define us. They arise and remind us Of who we are at our core, And what we are made of. They don’t happen to make us bitter. I believe they arrive to make us better; Humble reminders of what matters most, They ground us, and renew our compassion And grace for one another, and the battles we face- And they have the ability to make our souls shine, And radiate so much bigger and brighter- If only we have the courage to keep our hearts Open – to the possibility.
This painting celebrates the vibrancy of life, And the light that radiates outward – even in the aftermath.
This is me back in June of 2013. Age 36. Boy was I proud of her! This was one of those moments I will relish for my entire life. This photo was taken after the very first race I ever ran; Steamboat’s half-marathon (13.1 beautiful miles on a long and winding road right into the heart of downtown). Crossing that finish line made me feel like I was on top of the world; like I could conquer anything and everything! It felt like winning the lottery, but what I went through to get me to this day, were some of my darkest, and hardest moments that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Let me back up a little. It was the summer of 2012. My husband and I had been married for 12 years, and were the proud parents of two amazing kids, ages four and eight, with a little one on the way. This pregnancy was an unexpected blessing, and we were all feeling the excitement. I heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks, and it was strong, and beautiful. My daughter and I heard it again at 16 weeks, but my blood pressure was rising with time. A doctor prescribed me high blood pressure meds over the phone, and I reluctantly started on them the very next day. I hated the way this medicine made me feel. And worse then that, I grew increasingly concerned about the effects of it on our growing baby. I made a long list of concerns for our next appointment which would be our 19 week gender ultrasound. It couldn’t arrive soon enough, and it would become a day that would change our lives forever.
August 9, 2012 was a beautiful, and bright, sunshiny day! Our 8 year old daughter, Kaia, was hopeful to find out she would be getting a baby sister. Our 4 year old son, Korbin, was of course hoping for a little brother. We were giggling as we placed bets on what it would be just before leaving the house. To see Kaia beaming with so much excitement made my heart overflow with love and gratitude. It was uncontainable and contagious. It was such an exciting time that we went as a whole family even inviting my mom along for the fun.
The energy of the ultrasound room felt electric as the technician began to scan my growing belly. We couldn’t wait to see if we were having a boy or a girl. Our eyes were glued to the screen and then to the technician’s face unable to understand what we were looking at. As the minutes passed, I watched her expression slowly shift, and felt my heart beginning to race. The whole energy of the room suddenly took a dark turn. My body tensed up as I did my best to read between the lines. It was clear that something very serious was happening. My mom quickly gathered up our kids and exited the room quietly at the technician’s offer. What came next was every parent’s worst nightmare. I can’t find a heartbeat. Your baby has died.
I chose to deliver our baby the next day without the use of any pain meds because I wanted to be fully present in honoring the life that once was. I can’t explain why I chose this path as some might see it as unnecessary. What I can tell you, is, there is no right or wrong way to handle a loss of this magnitude. I can only tell you that I followed my heart and chose the path that felt right within my own spirit. It was the only option that made me feel some sort of peace of mind in my newly shattered heart.
The next day felt like the unfolding of a living nightmare. My husband, Toby, and I checked into the maternity ward where I was induced. I went through normal labor pains all day while doing my best to mentally prepare for delivery knowing it would be goodbye. Hearing the bell when other healthy babies were being born added salt to our wounds. The deep, guttural sobbing that came from the depths of my soul as our baby was born, felt far too heavy for anyone to bear. Dason Albert Childers was born sleeping on August 10, 2012 at 4:30 pm. He had all 10 fingers, and 10 toes, and was without a doubt a little baby boy, who was now our beautiful angel up in heaven.
The days that followed were a blur. I’m sure the sun was shining but I sure couldn’t feel it. The days felt dark, and heavy, and long. I would sleep and awake to thoughts and physical feelings of still being pregnant, and then having to relive the nightmare over and over once it registered that I no longer was. There were too many tears to count. I was struggling on so many different levels. Since it was baby number three, my body was ready to feed a baby and I had no baby to nurse. Postpartum depression set in, and this was the most depressed I had ever felt, and the extra baby weight I had gained didn’t help. I knew my body would eventually heal, but I wasn’t certain my heart ever would.
One week after I delivered our son, I had a follow-up appointment with my midwife at the same place where we found out our son had died. Sitting in the same waiting area surrounded by expecting moms felt like torture. My midwife was concerned that my blood pressure was still high. I felt like reminding her of the trauma I was reliving by coming back, but I didn’t have the energy to explain it. I was doing everything in my power just to hold myself together without bursting into a puddle of tears. She went on to tell me that I would likely have high blood pressure issues for the rest of my life. She also expressed that the only way to really ever get over a loss like this, was to have another baby. As I look back on this, I’m still not sure if I would describe her words as, “the truth hurts” or “completely out of line”, but I am grateful, and I do know this … she lit a fire in me that still burns today.
After 6 weeks post-delivery, I was finally cleared for exercise. I had two young kids to raise, and my body was healed good enough to get moving. I was on a mission of proving my midwife wrong, so I started going to Jenni’s strength training bootcamp with fellow moms and friends with kids. I remember showing up in ratty, super uncool gym clothes, and a pair of 10 year-old Nike athletic shoes that barely fit. They were more like plastic than rubber by this point, but it’s what I had at the time, and it was enough to get the job done. Jenni’s bootcamp was a godsend. It got me out of bed each morning and helped me to get out of my head and distracted me from my broken heart. After strength training at Namaqua Park, some of the moms would head over to the TVHS track and jog. They invited me to tag along one day and I giggled in response. I certainly wasn’t a runner in any way, shape or form, but I gladly joined in, and did what my out-of-shape body was capable of doing. I started walking and jogging really short distances. It didn’t take much to take my breath away in the beginning. As uncomfortable as it was, for some reason, I just kept going. And I continued going without much more thought. I wasn’t ever focused on how hard it was or how out of breath I was. I was just so grateful to be socializing with moms who were quickly becoming great friends all while our young kids got to hang out and play. Whether they knew it at the time or not, these women were carrying me through one of the darkest periods of my life.
Fast forward about a month and a half. I showed up to Namaqua Park early that day needing to fill my mind with something other than the sadness that haunted me. I arrived before everyone else, and decided to start jogging around the perimeter of the park to get warmed up. I was about seven laps in, and realized I could still breathe. I was in total awe. Maybe it was my first runner’s high? I have no idea, but I was the kid who didn’t like to run growing up because it would kick up my asthma, and make me wheeze. I was the young adult who had her right knee reconstructed twice from skiing and softball, and was advised to maybe take up golf. I was the person who couldn’t understand why anyone, in their right mind, would want to run. And here I was jogging and someone still breathing. In that moment, everything changed for me. I accidentally, and unintentionally fell head over heels in love with running.
Jogging grew to feel like some kind of super power. It was slowly becoming my super power; my fight song. And I just kept going. I would push through the uncomfortable moments when I wanted to quit, and I would shove every excuse I wanted to give into the backseat, and I kept going with every extra step I could muster. I think I can. I think I can. Before I knew it, I could jog four laps (1 mile) around the track without stopping. The excitement I felt with every small victory kept me going back for more. I tried to add a little distance each time I went or I would sprint, walk, and repeat. Slowly, I grew stronger over time. Slowly, I ran further over time. I’ll never forget the day I conquered 12 laps (3 miles) around the track without stopping. Almost a 5k. For me, that moment was HOLY SHIT!!! Here I was, 36 years old, new to jogging, and I remember thinking to myself, “there’s no way I just did that!!”. Talk about runner’s high. I was absolutely hooked. Hook, line, and sinker.
Running became the place where I could go anytime I needed to cry, pray, and to be with the son we lost. It was my therapy, and it quickly became my joy, my empowerment, rebuilding me physically and mentally from the ground up. If I woke up feeling depressed, I knew I just needed to go run and then I could be the mom I wanted to be for our kids. Running somehow physically altered the chemistry in my brain. After almost every jog, I felt more hopeful, more capable, happier, and less broken. I wanted to show our kids what a healthy coping skill for sadness could look like. On Thanksgiving morning that year, I ran 19 laps and dedicated every one to Dason who was born at 19 weeks. I felt him all around me. I always did. And I felt God carrying me through the darkness and showing me tiny glimpses of light and the rainbow waiting for me on the other side. Running made me feel alive again. I could feel the thumping of my heartbeat loud and strong, and the air I was breathing somehow became rhythmic, meditative and soul-soothing, I was healing emotionally with every step I took. It released the physical pain I felt so deep inside my heart that the tears I cried could never seem to reach. Running had this innate way of absolutely kicking my ass, and yet somehow, making me also feel the thrill of overcoming some huge victory all at the same time. It always left me feeling like maybe I could conquer anything!
Fast forward to March of 2013. My bootcamp friends were talking about a weekend in Steamboat to run in a race and enjoy a girl’s weekend away. Some moms were planning on running the full marathon. Some, the half marathon, and others, the 10k, but they were all going together in support of one another. I’ll never forget the moment they invited me to go along. Their gift made me feel this depth of gratitude that words will never be able to express. I was beyond grateful, eager, excited, absolutely terrified, but never more motivated or determined. I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I just knew that I wanted to honor our son by running a race for him, and I wanted to make it big, and I needed it to be a challenge. I decided on the half-marathon, and I was giddy with excitement.
One week before the race, we were strength training in preparation, and the unthinkable happened. I rolled my ankle good and hard. I felt it pop and my mind went numb. I couldn’t believe my luck, but I wasn’t willing to throw in the towel. I had been training so hard and this race and this trip meant everything to me. I decided to do everything in my power to help it heal as quickly as I could. I went to my chiropractor at that time, and had him adjust my ankle so it could heal as quickly as possible. Boy did that adjustment hurt like a … beep! He had me icing my ankle in an ice bucket 2-3 times a day for 10 minutes each time. I did it faithfully, and applied arnica inbetween treatments doing my best to heal.
The morning of the race on June 6, 2013, I awoke early and my nerves were off the charts. I brought along an ankle brace for the extra support, but knew right away that it wasn’t going to work. I decided to leave it behind, and I planned to just listen to my body that day. If I couldn’t do it, the volunteers would just have to drive me back into town – and that was that.
I’ll never forget the 13.1 mile bus ride from downtown Steamboat. What on earth was I thinking?! I thought it would never end. Turn after turn and mile after mile. Further and further from town. The thought of having to run that distance back was absolutely terrifying and completely daunting. Getting off the bus and standing in this massive line with a bunch of people waiting for the race to start was exciting, and completely overwhelming. My nerves had me shaking like a leaf. I did my best to stretch, and felt happy and relieved to be distracted by friends with moments of nervous laughter, and last minute photos as we waited anxiously to get started. And then the time had come. I put my ear buds in, turned my running playlist on, and thought to myself, “just jog slowly and see how your ankle feels, and if it feels okay, and strong enough, just keep running, and don’t stop for anything.” I melted right into meditation mode, and found my happy pace. I was in my zone, and I just kept running. The scenery was incredible. The people cheering us on along the way made me grin from ear to ear. Here I was doing it! The pit stops with water, electrolytes and a popcicle close to the end were such an awesome mental boost. The sun was warm. The mountains and hills were breathtaking. My soul felt totally at ease. I felt Dason with me in my heart and all around me in spirit. I felt God smiling down as I continued to forge ahead. I ran every bit of the 13.1 miles back into town that day and crossed that finish line with the biggest smile on my face! Pace doesn’t matter. Finishing does. And then I got to put the most beautiful medal around my neck. It wasn’t what it looked like. It was everything it represented. I came and I conquered. I was on cloud nine. It wasn’t just a race. It was SO much more. And I did it surrounded by some of the most amazing women I have ever met, and I will cherish those moments and that weekend for my entire lifetime. I became a person I never thought I could or would be. I accidentally became a runner. In honor of our son. For my health. For our kids. For this beautiful life, and to be here for as long as I can for them. And because God placed the right people in my life, at the right time, to help me rise up after my world went dark.
I will never be able to express my gratitude to Dason, to God, and to all the amazing women who were a part of setting me on the path of becoming a runner. They took me under their wings when I was broken, and taught me how to fly. And they had no idea then, how much I would continue to need that inner strength in the years to come.
Jogging has helped carry me through a 6-month marriage separation, a 2nd miscarriage, loss of loved ones, our third child, postpartum complications, and more recently breast cancer, chemotherapy, and multiple surgeries. I often feel like the queen of starting over and beginning again … but jogging has become my super power. It reminds me of my inner strength, my why, and what matters most. It’s my favorite fight song, and I will continue running until my legs no longer can.
You are stronger & more capable than you realize! Keep your heart open, and be willing to push through the uncomfortable moments. That’s where the growth begins. If you have the courage to go there, you will undoubtably grow there! Keep going, and don’t ever give up!
There’s so much peace In surrendering, And letting go of the heaviness That’s been weighing on my Heart, body, mind, and soul.
I’m learning to lean in To the life that awaits me Eagerly- Rather than living in fear Of my fate, And all the worry Of the unknown That has plagued me.
There’s a light inside That’s starting to flicker, And shine- Again Brighter, and brighter With every layer I shed, And intentionally let go of. Releasing years Of grief and suffering I’ve worn And held onto Like a coat of armor That became my identity- In place of who, and what I once was.
Surrendering To a place of More ease, What is, And what will be. Honoring my past, And setting it free. Rich in forgiveness And compassion. Filled with gratitude, Growth, New opportunities, Abundance, And alive with A new light, Renewed love, And rising above. Thankful for Every single day I awake And for every breath I get to take.
I am no longer that Woman who once felt like a Beautiful shade of broken. And every day I’m gifted Moving forward, I will be working towards Becoming a more vibrant, And beautiful shade Of human.
I know Everyone won’t like My poetry, What I paint, The art I create, Or what I have to say.
I know what I do Isn’t everyone’s Cup of tea. And that doesn’t Offend me. If it’s not for you, That’s totally Okay.
I am also well aware That I am not the best At any one thing I do. But I do MY best Doing what I love, And I feel immense Gratitude When I get to share My passions With each one of you.
Writing poetry And creating art Feel like Breathing air for me. Both – are necessary. Both – I feel deeply.
Making art is Chasing joy, Imagination, Color. Magic, And beauty. It’s paint- Celebrating, And dancing, It’s energy. It’s transforming, And healing.
Writing poetry Is the art of sorting And processing life. Like solving A jigsaw puzzle Of emotions- With rhythm And sound And your own Heartbeat In an open diary. Whether it’s Reflective, Nostalgic, Complex, Painful, Confusing, And messy. It’s a beautiful Art of raw Vulnerability And humanity.
What fulfills me most Is human connection. And doing my best To be a beacon Of light- And inspiration To others. Because those Who inspire me, Make this life Feel more freeing,, With more purpose And meaning- And there are many!
I want to Remind you- That you don’t Have to be THE very best- In order to be A bright light For those around you. Be brave enough To chase your dreams And help make This world More vibrant just By offering YOUR best At whatever it is You feel called to do. Following your heart Doesn’t have to be Perfect. It just needs you To keep showing up, And keep following through- And I really hope you do.
LET GO Of the guilt That shames you away From allowing Your body to heal.
LET GO Of the need To constantly be moving. It’s okay to rest And be still.
LET GO Of the push To always be busy In a culture That tells you- You must.
INSTEAD, Give yourself permission To pause and reflect- Away from Society’s rush.
Take in some deep breaths And push them all out To release, Reground, And reset.
Tune out And take time To recharge In the silence- How quickly We all forget.
Allow the warmth Of the sunshine To rest on your face As you slowly return To center. This sacred space Is where healing begins- Because the outside world Cannot enter.
Today is beautiful. Because I woke up Again. A new day. Another chance To live. To breathe. To feel my heart beat. Alive with love. And gratitude. Holding all the beauty Like golden treasures Of all our memories made- Together. … And the excitement That exists for all The memories Left for us to make. … I can’t wait.
The blue sky. The calm. The serene White, wispy brush strokes Of highlights Blending the white Into blue… The sun exploding In the east. Bright, bold And beautiful.
May this day Be filled with abundance And blessings For all of you!
Nestled in And snuggled up Basking in the peace, Blanketed within the glow Of the beautiful silence Just before dawn…
The early morning light Begins to rise… Ever so slowly Like a single flame Flickering gently- Growing and spreading Into an explosion of light and color Across the entire eastern skyline- God’s painting in real time- In the most profound And heartwarming way- Like a giant good morning hug Sent from the heavens Wrapped in sunshine And covered in love.
The pure magic And beauty of this life And this world Is so profound And powerful, And suddenly Becomes exponentially More meaningful When a test or tests Call your current health Into question.
The sky, the clouds, The colors of the sunrise And sunset- The trees, the birds And majestic Colorado Snow-capped mountain tops. The open fields And still waters. If we just pause For a moment And ponder… Just how lucky are we To be surrounded By such magnificent beauty. I’m continually in awe Of nature’s tranquility. In times like this- The sheer beauty Just hits me- Differently.
Waking up each morning And getting to rise With the ones That you love. Getting to see them, And tell them good morning, And being able to Show them your love. And oh- The pure magic In their heartfelt, And comforting hugs. What a gift. What magic to behold. These simple treasures Make us far richer Than any amount Of gold.
I am over the moon Grateful For this life, For our family, And all of our friends. For our laughter, And every moment- Together. For our memories, Adventures, And light-hearted Shenanigans. For the gift Of this new day. For getting to Rise again- For this moment Right now, For the air I breathe, And for the strength Of my body Still carrying me- Forward. And onward. I am grateful!
Last night I stepped outside my norm and this is what came forward … along with a poem that came directly after. This is for any and all who need to hear the same.
“RELEASE”
Release the need For perfectionism. Let go of that Which cannot exist.
Instead- Color outside the lines With bold enthusiasm And lead with your love, Fire and grit.
Drop the comparisons. You are not them, And they are not you. Your journey is not theirs- Only yours is for you.
Live your life out loud With intention, And just be you. Reinvented you. Passionate you. Healing you. Unapologetically you. And be unafraid To let the world see The unmasked version Of you.
For you are beautiful. Just as you are- With every story, Every scar, Every facet, Every celebrated Imperfection. You are a force To be reckoned with.
Your truth Is your connection. It’s the red thread That unites us all Behind unspoken words. Speak up with courage. Your voice is your power And your story- Beckons to be heard.
Chase your joys. Follow your heart And be led by the things That ignite your light So deeply within.
For that IS Your purpose And a sign that The stars have aligned. That you are on your path- And your soul is ready To dive in.
I’m so proud of you For getting through Every hardship, Every battle, And every struggle That came from Every difficult storm You walked through.
I’m so proud of you For every part Of grief you Overcame. For moving through Every feeling You felt, For allowing Your heart to cry- As you Stoically, Quietly, Or powerfully, And painfully Wept.
I’m so proud- That when the timing Was just right for you, You chose To finally Let it all go. Let go of your pain, And suffering, The anger, And sorrow, And everything That no longer Served you- And in the same breath You decided To step outside of Your comfort zone. And you chose Joy and happiness. You chose to rise, and To spread your wings, In order to grow, And glow Into the new, Courageous, Powerful and Radiant YOU.
Shine your light bright For the whole wide world To see- And to feel. Choose to Love yourself A whole lot more, And a whole lot better… Please promise me You will. Please offer yourself Forgiveness, And allow yourself More grace- With even more space For love, compassion, And patience… For doing your best. For who you are And where you are- Right now At this very moment, And in this place. Because- You and I both know That this life isn’t easy! And I just wanted you to know- That I think you’re doing great!
It is up to each one of us To somehow Keep our hope alive. And we will find it In those places Where our heart Feels overwhelming joy To thrive.
I find my hope In a morning run And in the vibrant colors Of the rising Sun. In the clouds And God’s sun rays Shining down From up above. I feel hope When I give gratitude For the blessings I’ve been given. I find Hope In the beauty Of life’s little things. And In learning A new life lesson. Hope is there For the offering In those beautiful spaces That make your heart sing. May you find and feel Hope today In whatever Your day may bring.
May life’s littlest joys Make you smile in the moment- May you find time today To pause and take in The beauty all around you. May you feel peace and gratitude For simply being present. And for every blessing That comforts, calms, And re-grounds you.
May today’s sunshine Come along and kiss you Upon your cheek, Remind you of life’s blessings, And bathe you in its peace. May the afternoon showers Wash away your worries, And may all of your troubles Be fleeting. May God‘s grace Renew your spirit, And remind you Of His safekeeping.
F it. FIGHT it. FINISH it. FIND a cure. FIND a way to THRIVE, despite it. And FORGET it, even if only for a moment.
FOCUS on HEALING and self-care. And know that it’s okay to FEEL like your diagnosis isn’t FAIR.
FEEL the big LOVE surrounding you, And all of the support rallying all around you.
FIND BEAUTY in the quiet moments. Remember what really matters and what doesn’t, and then let go of it!
Bid FAREWELL to all that does not support you healthily. And do what’s best for you- both physically and mentally.
FIND JOY in the small things. Keep FAITH and hope alive. Don’t sweat that, which you cannot control. Stop FIGHTING your tears. Allow them to FLOW, and then let it all go.
FIND and allow FORGIVENESS and grace, and practice both daily. Allow yourself time and space to meditate and pray, FAITHFULLY.
And FEEL your FEELINGS all the way through. But remember that cancer does not define you.
Give your anger a voice, and then kill it with kindness. And give your sadness a huge hug- Because sadness reminds us- that we’re only human, going through an extremely difficult human experience!
FIND your STRENGTH. FEEL your POWER. And dig deep for the courage to battle all the way to the FINISH LINE. And then FIND, rediscover and recreate the new you – and your new life… And I hope you choose to shine.
Stand tall alongside all of the other courageous warriors, cancer survivors, and thrivers- Who will continue loving and supporting you, FIGHTING with, and FOR you- and cheering you on for the rest of time, from the sideline.
And honor those who have sadly lost their battle by living your best life for the rest of your life.
You are more powerful than you know. And most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I’ve grown To understand- There is great power In acceptance. By surrendering To your current reality, You free up Enormous space & energy. Stop fighting- A losing battle. Choose to rise up, And light- A brand new candle. Open your heart And your mind Toward new, Forward movement, And opportunities. This eye-opening Realization Will become- Your blossoming, Your purpose, Your new identity. It’s time to surrender, And finally let go- Of your anger, Bitterness, And sorrow. For holding on- Will only hold off Tomorrow. And fighting it Will only- Keep you stuck In your same old, Broken tracks. Pray for the courage To move on- In faith, and hope And for new possibilities. For the time has come- For you to take Your power back.
Life is An ebb and flow- Of change And letting go. A rearranging- Of old routines And goodbyes From what You used to know. And this- You MUST do In order to welcome The new you. You must Brace yourself- To embrace Your changed life, To see it all In a new light- In preparation For this new chapter, And a changing Of the tides… And you might find- That you admire The stronger you More than- You could have Ever imagined. I know that’s A tough realization To try and fathom… And that’s not to say- There won’t be days Where you miss The old you, And what used to be- See… We are human, And we seek comfort In the familiar. We love to reminisce In the days when we- Remember… Happiness, bliss, And laughter. We wish We could hold onto The precious moments We’ve captured- With our loved ones And friends. But this BIG life change Isn’t the end. We must find the courage To reinvent ourselves And our lives, And be willing to let go Of old familiarities- For growth happens When we refuse To give up so easily. We must strive To find and feel Adventure And excitement- In this newness. Taking in And feeling grateful for- Each moment And everything We’ve been blessed with. Change is so- HARD. Incredibly hard! Believe me, I get this. But if you can Learn to begin again… Your end Can blossom- Into something beautiful, Magical and meaningful. The end Of one chapter- Might just be The beginning Of a different kind of Happily ever after… Just keep going!
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
This was written the day my chemo port was placed, and the night before my very first chemo treatment. I was terrified of all of the unknowns. I leaned into God at every scary turn and it was everything I needed and more – to get me through it. May this poem find those who need it and offer up all of the same to you in your time of need or for someone you love! Love, light and giant hugs to all going through their own life battles right now. May we become beacons of light in the eye of the storm we’re in, to give hope to all those who follow a similar life journey! 💗💗💗
Laughter is the best medicine – so don’t forget to laugh as often as possible to get those endorphins coming your way. Stay strong!
God’s grace- is a glorious place. A prayerful, and meditative state- filled with peace, unconditional love, and safe keeping. Releasing, And unleashing me from all that burdens my weary, and tethered mind- to fearful, and unkind thoughts- that slowly rise up to the tip top. Becoming louder And more prominent, and dominant than my faith. I pause in reflection- And feel God beckon me back- to trust in Him completely. To not fear this road I see in front of me. But to believe in Him, And to seek the beauty, amongst the rubble He has lovingly bestowed upon me. I must always retrace my steps- back to the quiet, prayerful space- when I feel lost- And He will come to greet me, and I must lean in with everything I am- to learn every lesson He is teaching me. I feel renewed by the power of faith He has restored within me. He refuses to give up on me. God’s grace is everything. Even through all of these life trials, and tribulations- I am humbled and blessed by the outpouring of God’s greatest kindnesses, and I am wholeheartedly, and profoundly gracious. I will do my very best to remain steadfast, and courageous- in the face of- my greatest challenges. God’s grace- Is the most glorious, and peaceful place. Where my tears of gratitude stream freely. Where my heart is overcome by His eternal, and everlasting love for me. God’s grace never ceases- to amaze me. His amazing grace always finds me in the dark, and reaches out with his undying love- to once again save me…
TANiELLE ART 