It’s crazy how fast
The past
Can come flooding
Right back…
All the memories
Of yesteryears
And always wishing
You could still be here.
I remember your smile
And all the ways
You made me laugh-
All the years
Remind me of how long
You’ve been gone
But my heart still
Doesn’t know the math.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 8/24
This poem came to me around 3am on the morning of 6-27-24,
and was written for those of us who are experiencing our children
growing up and being around a whole lot less.
I feel a little bit sad
Every time I walk by
And see your empty bed.
It’s a reminder again and again-
Just a little each time,
You’re a little more adult,
And a little less kid.
My mama heart breaks
Just a little each time
I see you paving your way.
Living your own life,
And on your own terms,
A little less here,
And a little more away.
But I also feel
A lot of mama pride-
Watching you thrive
As the days fly by…
And I see the woman
You are growing into-
A little less me
And a lot more you.
It’s beautiful.
YOU are beautiful,
And I am forever grateful
That I get to do
This life with you.
I thank God
For every waking day I get-
To spend a little more time
Watching you blossom
And bloom…
Even if my mama heart feels like
It’s all happening-
Just a little too soon.
Little lights flickering-
Like fireflies
In the distance.
The sun-
Slowly tucking the end
Of this wondrous day- in.
I draw in a deep breath-
And then release it,
I close my eyes-
To pause and reflect.
And to rest-
Just beneath it.
There’s a powerful
Energy that breathes
Within the flowers, trees
And natural grasses-
They weave color and life
Across the earth’s landscape-
With such joyous delight-
For the masses.
Dancing and swaying
In the breeze-
With beauty and grace,
And shaking leaves-
In untethered,
And unfurled excitement.
Drinking in
The warmth of the
Glorious sun,
And newly fallen rain-
Relaxed and calm, and still.
And basking in the glory
Of pure enlightenment.
The serenading sunrises
And sunsets
Where sweeping pastels
Paint the sky-
Alive.
Dandelions
Making wishes
And planting
Seeds of hope
For brighter tomorrows-
A thousand times-
Gliding high-
With the wind…
In an effort to
Spread their magic
And a legacy-
Forever to be
Remembered by.
Twinkling lights-
And the subtle moon glow-
Our calming,
Heavenly night light-
Blanketing the earth-
With its falling stars,
And the sweetest dreams-
Trickling down to all-
Who still believe…
In the magic.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.29.24
F it. FIGHT it. FINISH it. FIND a cure.
FIND a way to THRIVE, despite it.
And FORGET it, even if only for a moment.
FOCUS on HEALING and self-care.
And know that it’s okay to FEEL like
your diagnosis isn’t FAIR.
FEEL the big LOVE surrounding you,
And all of the support rallying all around you.
FIND BEAUTY in the quiet moments.
Remember what really matters
and what doesn’t, and then let go of it!
Bid FAREWELL to all
that does not support you healthily.
And do what’s best for you-
both physically and mentally.
FIND JOY in the small things.
Keep FAITH and hope alive.
Don’t sweat that, which you cannot control.
Stop FIGHTING your tears.
Allow them to FLOW, and then let it all go.
FIND and allow FORGIVENESS and grace,
and practice both daily.
Allow yourself time and space
to meditate and pray, FAITHFULLY.
And FEEL your FEELINGS all the way through.
But remember that cancer does not define you.
Give your anger a voice,
and then kill it with kindness.
And give your sadness a huge hug-
Because sadness reminds us-
that we’re only human, going through
an extremely difficult human experience!
FIND your STRENGTH.
FEEL your POWER.
And dig deep for the courage
to battle all the way to the FINISH LINE.
And then FIND, rediscover and recreate
the new you – and your new life…
And I hope you choose to shine.
Stand tall alongside all of the other courageous
warriors, cancer survivors, and thrivers-
Who will continue loving and supporting you,
FIGHTING with, and FOR you-
and cheering you on for the rest of time,
from the sideline.
And honor those who have sadly lost their battle
by living your best life for the rest of your life.
You are more powerful than you know.
And most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
F CANCER in every way!
-Tanielle Childers © 4.9.24
My belief is that
God doesn’t
Bring us to the fire-
To watch us
Go down in flames.
And He doesn’t
Ship us out to sea
To look on-
As we’re swallowed
By the giant waves.
And He doesn’t
Send us into the eye
Of any storm
To punish us
In such a way
That we shall
Never again-
See the light of day.
My belief is that
God brings us
To the fire-
To watch us grow
Until that spark ignites.
To look on
As our potential
Grows higher
And higher,
And to help us,
To shine our new light.
And He ships us
Out to sea
So we can learn
To navigate
Uncharted waters,
And gain new strength
As we learn how to swim.
And when we grow
Tired and weary,
He wants to remind us
To go back to
Seeking and
Believing in Him.
And He sends us
Into and through
The eye of a storm
To show us
Our true character
And what we’re made of.
For us to prove
To ourselves
That we can be more
Than we ever thought
We could be-
Despite the toughest
Battles that fall
At our feet.
He sees us-
And knows our potential.
He challenges us
And believes in us
Wholeheartedly-
And in our ability
To overcome
Any obstacle
We are faced with,
In this life,
All the way through-
To the end.
And He looks on
Lovingly
As we rise up
Again and again.
Out of the fire-
Out of the water-
And on the other side
Of every storm-
As a better human
With a bigger heart,
More compassion,
Understanding,
And a lot less thorns.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.5.24
I am not the person
I used to be-
And I have been slow
To accept
And fully embrace
That this IS the story
God has written for me.
My darkest moments-
Have taught me to see
A deeper meaning
In the light,
And this life.
And when my battles
Grew harder,
I began to
Better understand
The power
Behind my fight.
Crying even harder-
About all of the
Most beautiful reasons-
Behind my why.
I am not the person
I used to be.
I am still-
A work in progress,
And learning so much
About the new me-
Daily.
When you have been stripped
Of physical attributes
You once identified
Yourself by,
You get to the good stuff,
And are humbled and reminded
Of all that really matters-
In this life.
I am not defined
By the darkness
Or the obstacles
I overcome.
But I must choose
To rise again and again-
To become-
My knight in shining armor
That slays the darkness
By growing into-
A better human.
I am not the person
I used to be.
But I am becoming
The person
I choose to be.
I am millions
Of sparkling lights
That dance across
The night sky-
I am the morning sun
Peeking over the horizon-
Bursting with
Magnificent colors
At sunrise-
Alive with hope.
Dancing with joy.
Giving gratitude-
And fighting
To keep shining
My love and light
From the purest
Parts of myself
Inside.
I am not the person
I used to be.
And I am finally ready
To accept the new me-
With open arms
-Tanielle ©️ 3.30.24
If the world could see you
The way that I do,
They would love you
and cherish you
Just as I do.
They would treat you
Without judgment,
And see all the reasons why-
You hold such a special place
In my heart,
And are the apple of my eye.
If the world took the time
To get to know you,
And the small joys
That make you smile,
They would go out of their way
To drop by and play for a while.
If the world could sit down
And listen to your heart,
And why you feel
All the ways you do.
They would be less quick to judge,
And more understanding
And compassionate towards you
And everything you do.
If the world could witness
Your hidden talents, humor,
Silliness, kind heart,
Inquisitive mind, and creativity-
They would honor you
And support you-
Without any hesitation.
Positively!
But even IF
The world could see you,
Know you, and understand you
In all the incredible ways like I do,
There is NO WAY, on this earth,
They could ever come close,
To loving you just as much
As I do!
-Tanielle Childers © 3.8.24
…
I’ve grown
To understand-
There is great power
In acceptance.
By surrendering
To your current reality,
You free up
Enormous space & energy.
Stop fighting-
A losing battle.
Choose to rise up,
And light-
A brand new candle.
Open your heart
And your mind
Toward new,
Forward movement,
And opportunities.
This eye-opening
Realization
Will become-
Your blossoming,
Your purpose,
Your new identity.
It’s time to surrender,
And finally let go-
Of your anger,
Bitterness,
And sorrow.
For holding on-
Will only hold off
Tomorrow.
And fighting it
Will only-
Keep you stuck
In your same old,
Broken tracks.
Pray for the courage
To move on-
In faith, and hope
And for new possibilities.
For the time has come-
For you to take
Your power back.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 3.4.2024
That moment when
Your tired mind
Can suddenly see-
The world,
And your current situation
Through a completely
Different lens.
That moment when-
Your mind shifts,
The clouds lift,
And the sun comes out
Welcoming you back home
To your happiness-
Right where you belong.
That moment when-
The right words are spoken,
And your world suddenly realigns,
And begins
To make some sort of sense – again.
After having been in the dark
For far too long.
That moment when-
Gratitude sneaks back in,
And kisses you
Softly on the cheek.
And you smile in return-
From the inside, out-
Remembering
Just how sweet
The littlest things in life
Can be.
-Tanielle Childers © 2.21.24
I am-
A soft-hearted,
Strong-spirited woman-
Who has been through
Some extremely
Difficult times-
And feel grateful
To have survived it.
I prayed for
The courage
And strength
To be vulnerable,
Open and vocal-
Through poetry
About my life battles
Instead of
Hiding behind
A stoic face-
In silence.
My purpose
Has never been
For pity.
But, rather
To empower-
And be a voice
For all those
Who suffer
Behind closed doors-
Around me.
You-
Are not alone,
And your struggles
Are not a weakness.
And seeking help
That you need
To work through it-
Doesn’t mean
That – You aren’t
Strong enough-
To beat this.
Therapy
Can teach us-
A new perspective,
Better coping skills,
And give us new tools
To work through
Our personal traumas-
And inner unrest.
It should be
Looked at the same
As going to the doctor
When you are
Sick and require
Extra medicine
Or support-
In order to heal
And feel your best.
Our life stories
Can both connect
And unite us-
Bring us together
To help one another
Through-
Rather than separate
And divide us.
Human connection
Is a reflection
Of our own life journey-
Where we’re at,
How we relate,
And what we each have-
To offer.
Speak quietly
Or speak loudly
But speak your truth
Proudly-
And watch
The world around you
Grow softer.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 10.20.23
Life is
An ebb and flow-
Of change
And letting go.
A rearranging-
Of old routines
And goodbyes
From what
You used to know.
And this-
You MUST do
In order to welcome
The new you.
You must
Brace yourself-
To embrace
Your changed life,
To see it all
In a new light-
In preparation
For this new chapter,
And a changing
Of the tides…
And you might find-
That you admire
The stronger you
More than-
You could have
Ever imagined.
I know that’s
A tough realization
To try and fathom…
And that’s not to say-
There won’t be days
Where you miss
The old you,
And what used to be-
See…
We are human,
And we seek comfort
In the familiar.
We love to reminisce
In the days when we-
Remember…
Happiness, bliss,
And laughter.
We wish
We could hold onto
The precious moments
We’ve captured-
With our loved ones
And friends.
But this BIG life change
Isn’t the end.
We must find the courage
To reinvent ourselves
And our lives,
And be willing to let go
Of old familiarities-
For growth happens
When we refuse
To give up so easily.
We must strive
To find and feel
Adventure
And excitement-
In this newness.
Taking in
And feeling grateful for-
Each moment
And everything
We’ve been blessed with.
Change is so-
HARD.
Incredibly hard!
Believe me, I get this.
But if you can
Learn to begin again…
Your end
Can blossom-
Into something beautiful,
Magical and meaningful.
The end
Of one chapter-
Might just be
The beginning
Of a different kind of
Happily ever after…
Just keep going!
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 9-20-23
Dear self,
I cried for you-
I held you close.
I felt your spirit tremble.
I was sorry for everything
You were up against-
But I also knew
It wasn’t anything
You couldn’t handle…
Breast Cancer came
And stripped me
Of my identity.
I’d be lying if I said
I wasn’t struggling-
Mentally.
I am still reeling
From all I went through
Physically…
And still healing
From the cancer aftermath
Intricacies.
It’s tricky.
There’s just so much
I feel like
I have lost from this…
And yet, in the same breath,
I’m incredibly grateful
To everyone who was there
And got me through it…
But I’m grieving
Everything I used to be-
Half of my self-image
Was ripped from me.
My beautiful hair
Came out in clumps.
My eyelashes disappeared.
And the most feminine parts
Of me were stripped away.
It’s hard to feel like yourself again when Everything has changed.
My hair is growing back in,
Ever so slowly,
But strangely.
When I look
In the mirror now,
I hardly recognize the person
Standing in front of me.
I look deeply into the eyes
Staring back at me-
The same eyes
I have looked into,
And out from
My entire life…
And I see so much sadness
In that little girl,
My inner child,
Hidden away
Behind those walls
Deep down inside of me.
I want her to know
That I’m so proud
Of everything
She’s overcome.
I want her to know-
She’s beautiful
No matter what
This life has done.
And even if
She no longer
Sees it within herself,
She has way too much
Life left to live
To put herself
Up on that shelf.
I want her to keep fighting
And growing-
Through her own inner turmoil-
I want her to know that
Some of life’s most beautiful
Things sprout up from
A single seed and lots of soil.
I want her to stop building
A fortress to keep the world out-
Instead, I want her to feel and pour
Her beautiful broken heart out.
I want her spirit to soften
Instead of growing bitter.
I want her to feel loved
In spite of her scars and her flaws-
For they will only make her better.
I want her to feel powerful
In spite of her weakest moments.
And I want her to
Spread her wings and fly again…
And release
All the pain she tends
To hide the closest.
I want her to see and feel
The magic of this world again.
And I want her to know
That this battle
Isn’t where her precious life ends…
It’s where her beautful
New chapter begins…
– Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.24.23
Breast Cancer
Kicked me down-
From diagnosis
To doctors appointments,
To consultations-
And further testing.
From big surgeries
To healing and resting-
And then, just when
I was feeling strong again,
It kicked me back down-
And I laid lifeless
After my very last
Chemo round…
And when I thought
The worst was over,
It blindsided me,
And knocked me further-
Down to the ground…
And God brought me
To my knees.
Reaching for me.
Holding me,
And humbly
Reminding me
Of all the healing
I have left to do.
The emotions
That have pooled-
Of all that has happened.
I must now-
Begin to work thru.
My cancer days are
Behind me-
But in front of me
Lies a heavy blanket of grief-
The cancer aftermath-
The emotional rollercoaster.
The forever hangover,
And the reminders
That there are no do-overs.
The loss of what I once was-
Before cancer took
Those parts of me.
And the new reality
Of what now is…
The new ‘survivor’ me.
The traumas,
And inside wounds
I must now tend to.
My broken heart-
Just doesn’t hold
The same magic it used to.
My recovery is far from over.
There’s no end game.
No end date.
But the cancer is gone,
And life should be great.
Except that it’s not.
And that makes me
Feel guilty-
More times than not.
The future feels
Haunting,
Overwhelming,
And daunting.
It feels defeating,
Sorrowful,
And sad.
I feel angry,
And in moments-
Stark raving mad.
It’s hard to wrap
My head around-
The magnitude
Of all I’ve been through.
And no one around me
Understands the depth
Of anything I’m feeling
Or going through.
I’m just back to living
As if everything
I just went through
Wasn’t anything.
Except that it was…
And the sadness,
And mood swings,
And feelings
Are horribly isolating,
And deeply
Heartbreaking.
But I’m still here
Doing my best.
Reminding myself daily
That I’m blessed.
Because I am.
But underneath it all-
I’m still struggling.
More than I care to admit.
My life has forever changed
And I’m not convinced
That I’m better for it
Yet.
~Tanielle Childers ©️ 11.27.22
A soft, gentle breeze
Rustles the crackling leaves
From the surrounding trees.
They sway back and forth
Gliding across the blue sky,
Dancing ever so lightly-
On the wings
Of the cooler Autumn air-
Making their journey
Back down to earth.
This is a season
Of transformation.
A time of letting go,
And for some –
A time of rebirth.
The closing of a window,
Another chapter.
The shadows of summer
Fading-
Faster and faster.
Warmer days
Drifting away,
And cooler temperatures
Greeting us at sunrise,
The brisk autumn air
Beginning to freeze
Under the twinkling night sky.
The time of shorter days,
And longer nights.
Warmth from
The afternoon sun
Occasionally beckons
Us all – back outside
And we bask
In bliss and gratitude-
Delighted by the
Colors, and beauty in
The changing season.
Fall has arrived,
And winter isn’t far behind.
A time for deeper reflection,
Looking within,
Slowing down,
Cozying up,
And leaning in-
To change.
I am thankful
For every fleeting moment
And memory made.
My family
And our time here
Together
Is everything!
-Tanielle Childers ©️ Oct. 2022 💛🧡💜
I’m searching
High and low-
For the rainbow
In my new normal.
Crying, praying,
Pondering,
And wavering
Between hope
And hopeless.
Between faith
And why this?
Feeling all the
weight, and strain,
And bulk of this-
New world
I’m staring into.
A long road ahead
Of healing,
And reeling,
And struggling
To stand tall,
And strong again.
I feel like I’m fighting
Against the wind.
But I always fight
To win.
I’m weakened,
And I’ve been
Hit hard
By chemo treatment.
My daily struggles
Are no secret.
My dignity
Has taken a big hit.
And I’m right in
The thick of it.
Hair loss, weight gain,
Stiff, painful muscles,
Twitching, sensitive eyes,
And Menopause –
Overnight.
Tissue expanders,
And fluid retention.
I’m down at the bottom
Begging for redemption.
Breast Cancer
Is a disease
and a terrible life infection
A life changing direction,
With deepened introspection
Of who and what
I am at my core
Because everything
That once was-
Is nothing like
It was – before.
I must do
Everything
Within my power
To find the rainbow
After this storm.
I must set my ego aside
And find the light
In my new life-
My new norm.
For there is beauty
To be found
In every life cycle
And in every living form.
-Tanielle 6.20.22
Breast Cancer
I am 1 in 8.
Blinded by the diagnosis,
and still coming to terms
with accepting this
as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”,
and go to a sad,
dark place quite easily.
But that is a question-
that will never
be answered.
And staying there
would rob me
of my power-
Indefinitely.
Instead-
I choose positivity.
I choose hope.
I choose faith.
I choose humor.
I choose to find the things
that make me feel happy,
rather than focus only
on all the difficulty.
I choose gratitude.
And I choose my attitude.
Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment-
is a BIG mountain to climb.
A giant obstacle-
directly in front of me.
And I am facing it head on,
and riding the waves of change,
and the side effects
of every treatment
with as much grace
as I can, to the best
of my ability.
Overcoming this-
And sharing my story
and my journey
along the way-
is part of my life destiny.
And I believe that
wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer-
Why me?
I will never know
the reason.
And I will never ask.
This is my life test,
and I’ve been
called to task.
I am 1 in 8.
And I will overcome.
I will do my best
to keep my chin up
through this adversity,
and my battle
WILL be won.
Breast Cancer
affects so many.
It’s shocking
when you’re
in the thick of it.
Giant hugs and honor
to all who have been
impacted –
by this enormity.
I stand among the
countless women
who have been down
this road before me.
And I look forward
to standing with them
at the finish line,
as a survivor
with a story.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.21.22
This was written the day my chemo port was placed, and the night before my very first chemo treatment. I was terrified of all of the unknowns. I leaned into God at every scary turn and it was everything I needed and more – to get me through it. May this poem find those who need it and offer up all of the same to you in your time of need or for someone you love! Love, light and giant hugs to all going through their own life battles right now. May we become beacons of light in the eye of the storm we’re in, to give hope to all those who follow a similar life journey! 💗💗💗
Laughter is the best medicine – so don’t forget to laugh as often as possible to get those endorphins coming your way. Stay strong!
God’s grace-
is a glorious place.
A prayerful,
and meditative state-
filled with peace,
unconditional love,
and safe keeping.
Releasing,
And unleashing me
from all that burdens
my weary,
and tethered mind-
to fearful,
and unkind thoughts-
that slowly rise up
to the tip top.
Becoming louder
And more prominent,
and dominant
than my faith.
I pause in reflection-
And feel God beckon
me back-
to trust in Him
completely.
To not fear this road
I see in front of me.
But to believe in Him,
And to seek the beauty,
amongst the rubble
He has lovingly
bestowed upon me.
I must always retrace
my steps-
back to the quiet,
prayerful space-
when I feel lost-
And He will come
to greet me,
and I must lean in
with everything I am-
to learn every lesson
He is teaching me.
I feel renewed
by the power of faith
He has restored within me.
He refuses
to give up on me.
God’s grace
is everything.
Even through
all of these life trials,
and tribulations-
I am humbled and blessed
by the outpouring
of God’s greatest kindnesses,
and I am wholeheartedly,
and profoundly gracious.
I will do my very best
to remain steadfast,
and courageous-
in the face of-
my greatest challenges.
God’s grace-
Is the most glorious,
and peaceful place.
Where my tears
of gratitude
stream freely.
Where my heart
is overcome
by His eternal,
and everlasting
love for me.
God’s grace
never ceases-
to amaze me.
His amazing grace
always finds me
in the dark,
and reaches out
with his undying love-
to once again save me…
How great is our God!
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 3.21.22
HAVE FAITH
Today-
I took a walk with God.
I talked to God.
I cried with God.
I asked why, and what for
and how come? with God.
I pleaded with God.
I prayed to God,
and then I waited
in silence – for God
to answer me.
I waited patiently,
and quietly.
I breathed in deeply,
and exhaled forcefully.
The tears,
and life’s let-downs
poured right out
of me.
Some days
are downright hard-
mentally.
They’re messy,
and they catch me-
off guard,
and unprepared.
But these days are there-
to remind me again…
that timing
isn’t up to me.
as to when-
or how this life
works out for me.
So I breathe in deeply-
Again.
And I turn my faith
right back to Him.
This is God’s Plan.
God’s got me.
And I’m down on my knees
waiting patiently.
Faithfully.
I’m praying silently.
Believing, and trusting
blindly…
in His timing.
In His glory.
In this life story-
that He’s lovingly
laid out for me…
This is my journey
and there’s peace
in knowing
that ultimately-
God’s got me…
In ALL things.
along every step of the way.
Every minute of every day,
God’s got me,
and He loves me.
This is God’s plan
and He has answered me this..
I must put my full faith
Into Jesus-
Nothing less.
Because-
He knows best…
Always.
HAVE FAITH.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 3.8.22
As much as we’d like
to think we control
our future and our fate…
We don’t decide
when or how we will go,
much less, our final date.
I have become
very hyper-aware
of the moments-
and all I’ve been given.
One silver lining
to cancer, I suppose-
is I’ve realized
I’d better get to livin’!
Life isn’t perfect,
nor every day sweet.
But each waking moment
is a gift, and a blessing.
Soak up the minutes,
love hard, and be present.
Hold onto faith through the good,
the bad and the messy.
Have patience,
be kind, and accountable,
Treat your neighbors
as you would yourself.
Live now, live bold,
and laugh often.
And never put your dreams
up on that shelf.
Follow your heart,
don’t give up,
and keep going.
Money doesn’t equal success.
Chase your dreams,
inspire, and encourage.
Lift others up,
and give them your best.
Fill up your heart,
and it will fuel your spirit.
Live in joy,
And share your gift.
Time is precious,
and priceless, and finite.
Grab hold-
this life goes quick!
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 2.25.22
Beautiful scars
on both sides of my heart.
Proof that I will do anything,
and everything-
to stay right where you are.
My family and friends
are my world.
These life moments
are like gold.
Removing my breast cancer
is my act of intention
towards my will
for growing old.
A major life-changing,
life-saving decision.
A skin-sparing,
double mastectomy.
Letting go of all that is
no longer best for me.
I haven’t lost anything!
I’ve gained my life,
and more minutes.
I’m well on my way-
to a cancer-free me.
I am blessed. I am humble,
and I am in this to win it.
Beautiful scars-
on both sides of my heart,
tell a bigger life story
of survival, revival,
God’s amazing grace,
and His everlasting glory.
-Tanielle Childers ©️ 2.18.22
TANiELLE ART 