The pure magic And beauty of this life And this world Is so profound And powerful, And suddenly Becomes exponentially More meaningful When a test or tests Call your current health Into question.
The sky, the clouds, The colors of the sunrise And sunset- The trees, the birds And majestic Colorado Snow-capped mountain tops. The open fields And still waters. If we just pause For a moment And ponder… Just how lucky are we To be surrounded By such magnificent beauty. I’m continually in awe Of nature’s tranquility. In times like this- The sheer beauty Just hits me- Differently.
Waking up each morning And getting to rise With the ones That you love. Getting to see them, And tell them good morning, And being able to Show them your love. And oh- The pure magic In their heartfelt, And comforting hugs. What a gift. What magic to behold. These simple treasures Make us far richer Than any amount Of gold.
I am over the moon Grateful For this life, For our family, And all of our friends. For our laughter, And every moment- Together. For our memories, Adventures, And light-hearted Shenanigans. For the gift Of this new day. For getting to Rise again- For this moment Right now, For the air I breathe, And for the strength Of my body Still carrying me- Forward. And onward. I am grateful!
F it. FIGHT it. FINISH it. FIND a cure. FIND a way to THRIVE, despite it. And FORGET it, even if only for a moment.
FOCUS on HEALING and self-care. And know that it’s okay to FEEL like your diagnosis isn’t FAIR.
FEEL the big LOVE surrounding you, And all of the support rallying all around you.
FIND BEAUTY in the quiet moments. Remember what really matters and what doesn’t, and then let go of it!
Bid FAREWELL to all that does not support you healthily. And do what’s best for you- both physically and mentally.
FIND JOY in the small things. Keep FAITH and hope alive. Don’t sweat that, which you cannot control. Stop FIGHTING your tears. Allow them to FLOW, and then let it all go.
FIND and allow FORGIVENESS and grace, and practice both daily. Allow yourself time and space to meditate and pray, FAITHFULLY.
And FEEL your FEELINGS all the way through. But remember that cancer does not define you.
Give your anger a voice, and then kill it with kindness. And give your sadness a huge hug- Because sadness reminds us- that we’re only human, going through an extremely difficult human experience!
FIND your STRENGTH. FEEL your POWER. And dig deep for the courage to battle all the way to the FINISH LINE. And then FIND, rediscover and recreate the new you – and your new life… And I hope you choose to shine.
Stand tall alongside all of the other courageous warriors, cancer survivors, and thrivers- Who will continue loving and supporting you, FIGHTING with, and FOR you- and cheering you on for the rest of time, from the sideline.
And honor those who have sadly lost their battle by living your best life for the rest of your life.
You are more powerful than you know. And most importantly, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
I am not the person I used to be- And I have been slow To accept And fully embrace That this IS the story God has written for me.
My darkest moments- Have taught me to see A deeper meaning In the light, And this life. And when my battles Grew harder, I began to Better understand The power Behind my fight. Crying even harder- About all of the Most beautiful reasons- Behind my why.
I am not the person I used to be. I am still- A work in progress, And learning so much About the new me- Daily.
When you have been stripped Of physical attributes You once identified Yourself by, You get to the good stuff, And are humbled and reminded Of all that really matters- In this life.
I am not defined By the darkness Or the obstacles I overcome. But I must choose To rise again and again- To become- My knight in shining armor That slays the darkness By growing into- A better human.
I am not the person I used to be. But I am becoming The person I choose to be. I am millions Of sparkling lights That dance across The night sky- I am the morning sun Peeking over the horizon- Bursting with Magnificent colors At sunrise- Alive with hope. Dancing with joy. Giving gratitude- And fighting To keep shining My love and light From the purest Parts of myself Inside.
I am not the person I used to be. And I am finally ready To accept the new me- With open arms
I’ve grown To understand- There is great power In acceptance. By surrendering To your current reality, You free up Enormous space & energy. Stop fighting- A losing battle. Choose to rise up, And light- A brand new candle. Open your heart And your mind Toward new, Forward movement, And opportunities. This eye-opening Realization Will become- Your blossoming, Your purpose, Your new identity. It’s time to surrender, And finally let go- Of your anger, Bitterness, And sorrow. For holding on- Will only hold off Tomorrow. And fighting it Will only- Keep you stuck In your same old, Broken tracks. Pray for the courage To move on- In faith, and hope And for new possibilities. For the time has come- For you to take Your power back.
I’m searching High and low- For the rainbow In my new normal. Crying, praying, Pondering, And wavering Between hope And hopeless. Between faith And why this? Feeling all the weight, and strain, And bulk of this- New world I’m staring into. A long road ahead Of healing, And reeling, And struggling To stand tall, And strong again. I feel like I’m fighting Against the wind. But I always fight To win. I’m weakened, And I’ve been Hit hard By chemo treatment. My daily struggles Are no secret. My dignity Has taken a big hit. And I’m right in The thick of it. Hair loss, weight gain, Stiff, painful muscles, Twitching, sensitive eyes, And Menopause – Overnight. Tissue expanders, And fluid retention. I’m down at the bottom Begging for redemption. Breast Cancer Is a disease and a terrible life infection A life changing direction, With deepened introspection Of who and what I am at my core Because everything That once was- Is nothing like It was – before. I must do Everything Within my power To find the rainbow After this storm. I must set my ego aside And find the light In my new life- My new norm. For there is beauty To be found In every life cycle And in every living form.
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
Today- I took a walk with God. I talked to God. I cried with God. I asked why, and what for and how come? with God. I pleaded with God. I prayed to God, and then I waited in silence – for God to answer me.
I waited patiently, and quietly. I breathed in deeply, and exhaled forcefully. The tears, and life’s let-downs poured right out of me. Some days are downright hard- mentally. They’re messy, and they catch me- off guard, and unprepared. But these days are there- to remind me again… that timing isn’t up to me. as to when- or how this life works out for me. So I breathe in deeply- Again. And I turn my faith right back to Him. This is God’s Plan. God’s got me. And I’m down on my knees waiting patiently. Faithfully. I’m praying silently. Believing, and trusting blindly… in His timing. In His glory. In this life story- that He’s lovingly laid out for me… This is my journey and there’s peace in knowing that ultimately- God’s got me… In ALL things. along every step of the way. Every minute of every day, God’s got me, and He loves me. This is God’s plan and He has answered me this.. I must put my full faith Into Jesus- Nothing less. Because- He knows best… Always.
Beautiful scars on both sides of my heart. Proof that I will do anything, and everything- to stay right where you are.
My family and friends are my world. These life moments are like gold. Removing my breast cancer is my act of intention towards my will for growing old.
A major life-changing, life-saving decision. A skin-sparing, double mastectomy. Letting go of all that is no longer best for me.
I haven’t lost anything! I’ve gained my life, and more minutes. I’m well on my way- to a cancer-free me. I am blessed. I am humble, and I am in this to win it.
Beautiful scars- on both sides of my heart, tell a bigger life story of survival, revival, God’s amazing grace, and His everlasting glory.
Life’s most precious moments- are fleeting. My heart is alive and well, and still beating.
I’ve been busy living every minute- to the fullest. In the quiet moments, I am grieving. But in the face of it all, I remain upright and stoic.
I may crumble in the dark- but God brings me right back to His light. I may get angry at the journey that lies in front of me. But God is holding my hand tight.
I didn’t ask for this, and I’d rather not have to do it. But God brought me to this- and He will bring me through it.
I choose to set my sights on every silver lining that lies before me. I choose faith over fear, and I hold onto hope with all the courage I have- even while I am mourning.
I believe wholeheartedly that our life journey is for a reason. We may not understand our hardships or life difficulties- but we must remain steadfast, trust in Him and keep believing.
I will give my all- to be a beacon of bright light for all who may go down a similar life journey. This isn’t me going into battle. This is me going through some tough-ass moments, letting go, big personal growth, and so much learning.
Cancer does not, and will not ever define me. I will rise and face the music directly in front of me, bask in God’s healing light, and breathe in peace, as I begin the painful process of leaving this cancer behind me.
A major life change- Unfolding swiftly Before me. Each day- A new wave, And an attempt At a brave face- With this tough, New reality. Breast Cancer, Has completely Dumbfounded me. It’s astounding- To me… Just how fast The Cancer Center Moves. With their patient’s care, There is no time to lose. Testing and directing you, Collecting results, Analyzing and presenting Everything They know. Offering their expertise, Comforting words, And best of all, HOPE. The cancer- Must be removed, And the time Is coming now. And my job As a patient Is to prepare myself… And I will- SOMEHOW. A mind-numbing Place in time, And so surreal. Some moments feel Much more- Like a dream, And —- it seems Almost impossible To swallow Or even digest A mere fraction of this- The magnitude Of all that is- Happening So fast. I’m tapping Into my inner Strength and courage, Hope and faith, My sacred space. But I do not And will not Feel sorry for me- Only uncertainty For all that is coming, And all that will be. For whatever reason, THIS— Is part of My life journey. A new chapter Of learning- Healing, And letting go, Overcoming, And BIG growth For me- Spiritually. Putting my full faith Into God- To carry me When I am tired, And weary. I feel in my heart Of hearts, That all will be okay… But I worry- Most about My beautiful family. And how THEY Are going to cope, And manage Around me. I MUST AND I WILL Get through this! For this— Is just a BIG bump In the road. This cancer- May be as fierce as a tiger, But I — I AM a fiercer fighter. And with the heart of a lion, I will prove That I am MIGHTIER!
Occupying my free time to avoid thinking too much about pending biopsy results. Painting made the waiting pass a little more easily and less frantically.
Breast Cancer Wasn’t the The answer I ever wanted to hear…
It hit me hard- Then fear Sank deep- Within my heart. The world paused- And Everything Around me- Faded out. I was suddenly, And completely Unaware of my Surroundings- As I momentarily, And mentally Checked out.
I felt numb. SO NUMB. Everything a blur. I went inward- To a quiet place As I soaked in Every word, And understood As much as I could- About this New and foreign Space. My heart raced.
Both Invasive And non-invasive Ductal Carcinoma. Tiny, but Potentially significant Calcifications Are present around This small mass- Alas- You’ll need an MRI Followed by- Meeting your Oncology team at MD Anderson Cancer Center Are you familiar?
Jeneane, Your nurse Navigator, Will be calling…
My heart- Continued falling. The ground Slowly crumbling Beneath my feet. As I was trying To wrap my head Around every Foreign word Just spoken to me.
I feel deeply Anxious about This whirlwind Of news… This flood Of sudden, But absolutely Necessary Slew- of Doctor’s Appointments Leading up to- Surgery, Recovery, The possibility Of A lumpectomy, Mastectomy? Reconstruction, Genetics testing Radiation Or hormonal Treatment therapy. The thought of Future cancer rediscovery? My mind Was racing Ahead of me- Why is all of this happening?
Breathe. Just breathe.
Cancer will not Get the best of me! This is just another Difficult life test for me. And I am ready… At least, I’m trying really hard- To be. Knowing Deep within my heart- God’s got me. No matter what. In my weakest moments, His grace and light Will carry me, And I will fight With every Ounce of life in me.
I am grounded. Re-grounded. I am humbled. Re-humbled. I am grateful. Newly grateful, For every blessing I have taken for granted. I am blessed. So very blessed. With the best- Friends and family And support I feel All around me.
My happily ever after Isn’t the perfect body, The perfect house, Or the perfect life. It’s love and laughter. It’s God’s light. It’s family and friends, And moments together No matter the weather. It’s overcoming, And conquering Every life obstacle, And beating CANCER. It’s living a long And happy life In remission- AFTER.
Beauty exists In the everyday Mundane. Happiness exists In life’s littlest And simplest of things.
I am deeply grateful For this life. And I am scared. Please lift me up In your prayers. I can do this. I will get through this.
(Please ladies, go get your mammogram! This happened within 1-1/2 years since my last. I didn’t feel a lump. The doctor’s assistant didn’t feel a lump. I requested a mammogram. That mammogram showed a tiny mass – the size of a pencil eraser. That find led to a 3D scan and an ultrasound. I was given the option of waiting and rechecking in 6 months time or a breast biopsy to find out in a few days time. I chose the biopsy and my cancer was detected, thank God! It is scary, but so necessary. Please don’t hesitate. Advocate for yourself and your body. Trust your gut and don’t ever question it.)
dreamer | artist | painter | poet 