overcoming – dreamer | artist | painter

I Am a Breast Cancer Survivor

My six-month breast cancer
Check-up last Friday
With my oncologist-
Turned into seven because I forgot.
I forgot to schedule it
Because I was so busy living-
And the forgetting, for me,
Was a blessing…
Because remembering – is a lot!

Before this day came,
I was unbothered and untroubled.
After all, this was just another normal
Follow-up doctor’s appointment
I needed to go to.
But when I was pulling into
The Harmony Cancer Center that day,
My mood suddenly shifted.
I felt a heaviness welling up inside my heart.
I was taken aback.
And these emotions
Caught me completely off guard.

As I walked into the cancer center,
I looked around at all the people present
Waiting for their name to be called,
As I patiently waited in line
To be checked in for mine.
Some wore hats
To cover their balding heads from chemo.
Some sat alone in silence
Staring out the windows
At the falling snow and gray skies.
While others sat with their spouses
And filled their waiting time
With comforting words,
Loving nudges and a bit of normalcy.
Today, the cancer center was busy,
And bustling.

I was a mixed bag
Of so many different emotions…
Bouncing, in real-time,
From one right into the next.
I stood trying to wrap my head around
The complexity of all that I was feeling.
And what I was feeling
Felt heavy and intense.

I meandered around
And found a chair that offered
Bright colored landscapes on the wall
In front of me to get lost in,
And large windows close by
To see the beautiful tree outside-
That was somehow grounding.
And something I found comfort in.

And I sat alone in silence,
Sipping my hot coffee
With honey and cinnamon-
Reflecting, observing
And remembering the journey
That landed me in this space.
The traumas still come back
To haunt me from time to time.
Like today.
Coming back was a trigger
I wasn’t prepared for in any way.

My grief is still present,
Though not as often as it once was.
And my sadness still lingers.
Though most of it,
I have chosen to let go of.
But all that I felt was a reminder
That I am still healing
From all that I endured.
That I am not done processing
Everything I’ve been through.
And I’m still hoping for one day, a cure.
I’m healing slowly, but surely
And that’s okay.
Little bit by little bit,
Over an extended time…
Because healing never happens
Overnight.

When my name was called,
I stood tall and followed my nurse
Like a robot going through the motions.
Weight and height check-
Followed by my vitals and questions
Around depression and how I’m managing.
Overall, I feel a sense of pride
For getting through and to
Where I’m at today.
That said, I still have moments
Where I struggle to accept
My new normal as being okay.

After my nurse left, and as I sat waiting
For my oncologist to arrive,
I snapped this photo of myself
Because it’s a moment
To be celebrated.
This was my high-five.
I felt happy and grateful
To still be here-
To still be alive.

But when I look at
This photo of myself,
I see every emotion I was feeling
And sitting with,
Even though
I thought I was hiding it.
I see everything
That tugged at my heart that day.
I see happiness and inner peace.
I see a deep sadness
And a sense of unease.
But I see immense gratitude-
And a good attitude toward
Being in remission–
And I also see that I am not defined
By one or the other.
I see that I am all of them-
Intertwined together…
And a work-in-progress I will be–
Forever.

Because I am a breast cancer survivor.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.22.25

Diagnosed 12.21.21
DMX 2.10.22
Chemo 3.22.22 – 5.29.22
Reconstruction & ovary removal 7.29.22

Release

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Last night I stepped outside my norm and this is what came forward … along with a poem that came directly after. This is for any and all who need to hear the same.

“RELEASE”

Release the need
For perfectionism.
Let go of that
Which cannot exist.

Instead-
Color outside the lines
With bold enthusiasm
And lead with your love,
Fire and grit.

Drop the comparisons.
You are not them,
And they are not you.
Your journey is not theirs-
And yours is for you.

Live your life out loud
With intention,
And just be you.
Reinvented you.
Passionate you.
Healing you.
Unapologetically you.
And be unafraid
To let the world see
The unmasked version
Of you.

For you are beautiful.
Just as you are-
With every story,
Every scar,
Every facet,
Every celebrated
Imperfection.
You are a force
To be reckoned with.

Your truth
Is your connection.
It’s the red thread
That unites us all
Behind unspoken words.
Speak up with courage.
Your voice is your power
And your story-
Beckons to be heard.

Chase your joys.
Follow your heart
And be led by the things
That ignite your light
So deeply within.

For that IS
Your purpose
And a sign that
The stars have aligned.
That you are on your path-
And your soul is ready
To dive in.

So release…
And just begin.

-Tanielle Childers©️ 3.9.25

I’m Proud of You!

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

I’m so proud of you
For getting through
Every hardship,
Every battle,
And every struggle
That came from
Every difficult storm
You walked through.

I’m so proud of you
For every part
Of grief you
Overcame.
For moving through
Every feeling
You felt,
For allowing
Your heart to cry-
As you
Stoically,
Quietly,
Or powerfully,
And painfully
Wept.

I’m so proud-
That when the timing
Was just right for you,
You chose
To finally
Let it all go.
Let go of your pain,
And suffering,
The anger,
And sorrow,
And everything
That no longer
Served you-
And in the same breath
You decided
To step outside of
Your comfort zone.
And you chose
Joy and happiness.
You chose to rise, and
To spread your wings,
In order to grow,
And glow
Into the new,
Courageous,
Powerful and
Radiant
YOU.

Shine your light bright
For the whole wide world
To see-
And to feel.
Choose to
Love yourself
A whole lot more,
And a whole lot better…
Please promise me
You will.
Please offer yourself
Forgiveness,
And allow yourself
More grace-
With even more space
For love, compassion,
And patience…
For doing your best.
For who you are
And where you are-
Right now
At this very moment,
And in this place.
Because-
You and I both know
That this life isn’t easy!
And I just wanted you to know-
That I think you’re doing great!

Keep going!

Tanielle Childers ©️ 11-24-24

Breast Cancer – Grief

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

It’s been a rough stretch-
Mentally.
I draw in a deep breath-
As I feel the clouds
Begin to lift.
This darkness-
Has felt so heavy.
This grieving-
Of who I was before-
Cancer.
And struggling
To accept myself
Unconditionally,
As I am now-
After.
So much was lost,
And I was happy
With who I was.
And I don’t yet see
Anything
That has been gained-
Out of who I have become.
If I’m being honest,
Breast cancer
Has made me feel
Less like a woman,
Weaker as a person,
And so much more
Sadness as a human.
I would not wish this
On anyone.
I have been
Profoundly humbled
By my life journey.
I understand
The fragility of life,
And the importance
Of moments spent
Both happy
And hurting.
I struggle to understand
The purpose behind
All that has been taken-
And I would be lying
If I said
There weren’t moments
Where I have felt
Like I have been
Forsaken.
But I will forge ahead
For my family-
And do my best
To hold my head high.
And I will do so
With as much strength
And hope
As I can find-
Cancer has taken
So much from me-
But I will never
Give it the power
To define-
The rest of my lifetime.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 9.5.24

My Belief

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

My belief is that
God doesn’t
Bring us to the fire-
To watch us
Go down in flames.

And He doesn’t
Ship us out to sea
To look on-
As we’re swallowed
By the giant waves.

And He doesn’t
Send us into the eye
Of any storm
To punish us
In such a way
That we shall
Never again-
See the light of day.

My belief is that
God brings us
To the fire-
To watch us grow
Until that spark ignites.
To look on
As our potential
Grows higher
And higher,
And to help us,
To shine our new light.

And He ships us
Out to sea
So we can learn
To navigate
Uncharted waters,
And gain new strength
As we learn how to swim.
And when we grow
Tired and weary,
He wants to remind us
To go back to
Seeking and
Believing in Him.

And He sends us
Into and through
The eye of a storm
To show us
Our true character
And what we’re made of.
For us to prove
To ourselves
That we can be more
Than we ever thought
We could be-
Despite the toughest
Battles that fall
At our feet.

He sees us-
And knows our potential.
He challenges us
And believes in us
Wholeheartedly-
And in our ability
To overcome
Any obstacle
We are faced with,
In this life,
All the way through-
To the end.

And He looks on
Lovingly
As we rise up
Again and again.
Out of the fire-
Out of the water-
And on the other side
Of every storm-
As a better human
With a bigger heart,
More compassion,
Understanding,
And a lot less thorns.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.5.24

The Power of Acceptance

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

…

I’ve grown
To understand-
There is great power
In acceptance.
By surrendering
To your current reality,
You free up
Enormous space & energy.
Stop fighting-
A losing battle.
Choose to rise up,
And light-
A brand new candle.
Open your heart
And your mind
Toward new,
Forward movement,
And opportunities.
This eye-opening
Realization
Will become-
Your blossoming,
Your purpose,
Your new identity.
It’s time to surrender,
And finally let go-
Of your anger,
Bitterness,
And sorrow.
For holding on-
Will only hold off
Tomorrow.
And fighting it
Will only-
Keep you stuck
In your same old,
Broken tracks.
Pray for the courage
To move on-
In faith, and hope
And for new possibilities.
For the time has come-
For you to take
Your power back.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 3.4.2024

That Moment When-

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

That moment when-
Your tired mind
Can suddenly see-
The world,
And your current situation
Through a completely
Different lens.

That moment when-
Your mind shifts,
The clouds lift,
And the sun comes out
Welcoming you back home-
To your happiness.
Right where you belong.

That moment when-
The right words are spoken,
And your world suddenly realigns,
And begins
To make some sort of sense – again.
After having been in the dark
For far too long.

That moment when-
Gratitude sneaks back in,
And kisses you
Softly on the cheek.
And you smile in return-
From the inside, out-
Remembering
Just how sweet
The littlest things in life
Can be.

-Tanielle Childers © 2.21.24

JUST KEEP GOING

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Life is
An ebb and flow-
Of change
And letting go.
A rearranging-
Of old routines
And goodbyes
From what
You used to know.
And this-
You MUST do
In order to welcome
The new you.
You must
Brace yourself-
To embrace
Your changed life,
To see it all
In a new light-
In preparation
For this new chapter,
And a changing
Of the tides…
And you might find-
That you admire
The stronger you
More than-
You could have
Ever imagined.
I know that’s
A tough realization
To try and fathom…
And that’s not to say-
There won’t be days
Where you miss
The old you,
And what used to be-
See…
We are human,
And we seek comfort
In the familiar.
We love to reminisce
In the days when we-
Remember…
Happiness, bliss,
And laughter.
We wish
We could hold onto
The precious moments
We’ve captured-
With our loved ones
And friends.
But this BIG life change
Isn’t the end.
We must find the courage
To reinvent ourselves
And our lives,
And be willing to let go
Of old familiarities-
For growth happens
When we refuse
To give up so easily.
We must strive
To find and feel
Adventure
And excitement-
In this newness.
Taking in
And feeling grateful for-
Each moment
And everything
We’ve been blessed with.
Change is so-
HARD.
Incredibly hard!
Believe me, I get this.
But if you can
Learn to begin again…
Your end
Can blossom-
Into something beautiful,
Magical and meaningful.
The end
Of one chapter-
Might just be
The beginning
Of a different kind of
Happily ever after…
Just keep going!

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 9-20-23

You Can Overcome Anything

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Dedicated to my kids … because life is never easy – and not without change. And because I want to make sure I pour my heart out in its entirety while I’m still here….And I want my words to continue speaking to their hearts long after I’m gone. 💛

“You CAN Overcome Anything”

The truth is
You CAN handle
Whatever comes your way-
No matter how big
Or how hard-
The life change.
You don’t handle
Everything all at once-
Or all in one day.
You handle it
In baby steps,
And long, deep breaths.
You handle it-
Moment by moment.
Just make the next
Right decision-
And do your best.
Sometimes-
You handle it-
With tears and talks
And late night texts.
You handle it-
With lots of hugs,
And I love yous.
You handle it-
With naps and walks,
Movies, ice cream,
Self-care, laughing,
Praying and gratitude.
You handle it-
With those
Who have your back-
At every turn.
Just keep going…
Lean into the change-
And always-
Learn.
You handle it-
Little bit by little bit.
And as you begin
To adjust to the changes-
You can gradually
Let go of the heaviness-
Or the overbearing weight of it.
And even if you never
Fully get over it-
You CAN get through it.
You ARE strong enough.
You ARE capable.
And I believe-
With all of my heart-
That you CAN do it.
I love you-
With everything
That I am-
And for as long
As I am able to…
I promise
To hold your heart-
And love you
Through it-
No matter what.
You are capable
And strong enough-
To get through-
And overcome
The hard stuff.

Love always and forever,

Mom

Tanielle Childers©️9/23

Dear Self …

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Dear self,

I cried for you-
I held you close.
I felt your spirit tremble.
I was sorry for everything
You were up against-
But I also knew
It wasn’t anything
You couldn’t handle…

Breast Cancer came
And stripped me
Of my identity.

I’d be lying if I said
I wasn’t struggling-
Mentally.

I am still reeling
From all I went through
Physically…

And still healing
From the cancer aftermath
Intricacies.
It’s tricky.

There’s just so much
I feel like
I have lost from this…

And yet, in the same breath,
I’m incredibly grateful
To everyone who was there
And got me through it…

But I’m grieving
Everything I used to be-
Half of my self-image
Was ripped from me.

My beautiful hair
Came out in clumps.
My eyelashes disappeared.
And the most feminine parts
Of me were stripped away.
It’s hard to feel like yourself again when Everything has changed.

My hair is growing back in,
Ever so slowly,
But strangely.
When I look
In the mirror now,
I hardly recognize the person
Standing in front of me.

I look deeply into the eyes
Staring back at me-
The same eyes
I have looked into,
And out from
My entire life…

And I see so much sadness
In that little girl,
My inner child,
Hidden away
Behind those walls
Deep down inside of me.

I want her to know
That I’m so proud
Of everything
She’s overcome.
I want her to know-
She’s beautiful
No matter what
This life has done.

And even if
She no longer
Sees it within herself,
She has way too much
Life left to live
To put herself
Up on that shelf.

I want her to keep fighting
And growing-
Through her own inner turmoil-
I want her to know that
Some of life’s most beautiful
Things sprout up from
A single seed and lots of soil.

I want her to stop building
A fortress to keep the world out-
Instead, I want her to feel and pour
Her beautiful broken heart out.

I want her spirit to soften
Instead of growing bitter.
I want her to feel loved
In spite of her scars and her flaws-
For they will only make her better.

I want her to feel powerful
In spite of her weakest moments.
And I want her to
Spread her wings and fly again…
And release
All the pain she tends
To hide the closest.

I want her to see and feel
The magic of this world again.
And I want her to know
That this battle
Isn’t where her precious life ends…
It’s where her beautful
New chapter begins…

– Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.24.23

Transformation

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

I’m searching
High and low-
For the rainbow
In my new normal.
Crying, praying,
Pondering,
And wavering
Between hope
And hopeless.
Between faith
And why this?
Feeling all the
weight, and strain,
And bulk of this-
New world
I’m staring into.
A long road ahead
Of healing,
And reeling,
And struggling
To stand tall,
And strong again.
I feel like I’m fighting
Against the wind.
But I always fight
To win.
I’m weakened,
And I’ve been
Hit hard
By chemo treatment.
My daily struggles
Are no secret.
My dignity
Has taken a big hit.
And I’m right in
The thick of it.
Hair loss, weight gain,
Stiff, painful muscles,
Twitching, sensitive eyes,
And Menopause –
Overnight.
Tissue expanders,
And fluid retention.
I’m down at the bottom
Begging for redemption.
Breast Cancer
Is a disease
and a terrible life infection
A life changing direction,
With deepened introspection
Of who and what
I am at my core
Because everything
That once was-
Is nothing like
It was – before.
I must do
Everything
Within my power
To find the rainbow
After this storm.
I must set my ego aside
And find the light
In my new life-
My new norm.
For there is beauty
To be found
In every life cycle
And in every living form.

-Tanielle 6.20.22

I Am 1 in 8

Poetry by Tanielle Childers, Uncategorized

Breast Cancer
I am 1 in 8.
Blinded by the diagnosis,
and still coming to terms
with accepting this
as my fate.

I could ask, “Why me?”,
and go to a sad,
dark place quite easily.
But that is a question-
that will never
be answered.
And staying there
would rob me
of my power-
Indefinitely.

Instead-
I choose positivity.
I choose hope.
I choose faith.
I choose humor.
I choose to find the things
that make me feel happy,
rather than focus only
on all the difficulty.
I choose gratitude.
And I choose my attitude.
Daily. And intentionally.

Breast Cancer treatment-
is a BIG mountain to climb.
A giant obstacle-
directly in front of me.
And I am facing it head on,
and riding the waves of change,
and the side effects
of every treatment
with as much grace
as I can, to the best
of my ability.
Overcoming this-
And sharing my story
and my journey
along the way-
is part of my life destiny.
And I believe that
wholeheartedly.

Breast Cancer-
Why me?
I will never know
the reason.
And I will never ask.
This is my life test,
and I’ve been
called to task.
I am 1 in 8.
And I will overcome.
I will do my best
to keep my chin up
through this adversity,
and my battle
WILL be won.

Breast Cancer
affects so many.
It’s shocking
when you’re
in the thick of it.
Giant hugs and honor
to all who have been
impacted –
by this enormity.
I stand among the
countless women
who have been down
this road before me.
And I look forward
to standing with them
at the finish line,
as a survivor
with a story.

Beautiful Scars

Uncategorized

Beautiful scars
on both sides of my heart.
Proof that I will do anything,
and everything-
to stay right where you are.

My family and friends
are my world.
These life moments
are like gold.
Removing my breast cancer
is my act of intention
towards my will
for growing old.

A major life-changing,
life-saving decision.
A skin-sparing,
double mastectomy.
Letting go of all that is
no longer best for me.

I haven’t lost anything!
I’ve gained my life,
and more minutes.
I’m well on my way-
to a cancer-free me.
I am blessed. I am humble,
and I am in this to win it.

Beautiful scars-
on both sides of my heart,
tell a bigger life story
of survival, revival,
God’s amazing grace,
and His everlasting glory.

I Choose Faith Over Fear

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Life’s most precious moments-
are fleeting.
My heart is alive and well,
and still beating.

I’ve been busy living every minute-
to the fullest.
In the quiet moments,
I am grieving.
But in the face of it all,
I remain upright and stoic.

I may crumble in the dark-
but God brings me right back
to His light.
I may get angry at the journey
that lies in front of me.
But God is holding my hand tight.

I didn’t ask for this,
and I’d rather not have to do it.
But God brought me to this-
and He will bring me through it.

I choose to set my sights
on every silver lining
that lies before me.
I choose faith over fear,
and I hold onto hope
with all the courage I have-
even while I am mourning.

I believe wholeheartedly
that our life journey
is for a reason.
We may not understand
our hardships or life difficulties-
but we must remain steadfast,
trust in Him and keep believing.

I will give my all-
to be a beacon of bright light
for all who may go down
a similar life journey.
This isn’t me going into battle.
This is me going through some
tough-ass moments, letting go,
big personal growth,
and so much learning.

Cancer does not,
and will not ever define me.
I will rise and face the music
directly in front of me,
bask in God’s healing light,
and breathe in peace,
as I begin the painful process of
leaving this cancer behind me.

God’s Grace

Poetry by Tanielle Childers

Grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.

There are painful,
Angry moments.
In the in-between.
When I scream, shout
And curse my way
Through this grief…
When I am weak.
When I feel small.
When I fall-
All the way…
Down.

Grace
Only finds me
Again…when-
I am ready.

When I give in-
And give it all
Right back to Him.
When I kneel down,
And pray…
God shines
His everlasting light
Down upon me.
Radiating His love
And blessings
All around me.
And it is then…when-
I know and feel
That everything
Surrounding me,
Dumbfounding me,
And humbly
Grounding me
Will be okay…

But grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.

It is up to me
To go looking,
Crawling, climbing
Or falling…
My way back
To trusting in Him.
Again, and again,
And again.

I give my heart,
My love,
My faith,
My trust,
And my gratitude
To Him.

Believing
In His healing,
And In His timing
More than mine.
And I will keep
Fighting,
Persevering
And overcoming
My plight.
I have cancer-
But that
Doesn’t define
My life.

Grace
Doesn’t find me
Every waking day.