The pure magic And beauty of this life And this world Is so profound And powerful, And suddenly Becomes exponentially More meaningful When a test or tests Call your current health Into question.
The sky, the clouds, The colors of the sunrise And sunset- The trees, the birds And majestic Colorado Snow-capped mountain tops. The open fields And still waters. If we just pause For a moment And ponder… Just how lucky are we To be surrounded By such magnificent beauty. I’m continually in awe Of nature’s tranquility. In times like this- The sheer beauty Just hits me- Differently.
Waking up each morning And getting to rise With the ones That you love. Getting to see them, And tell them good morning, And being able to Show them your love. And oh- The pure magic In their heartfelt, And comforting hugs. What a gift. What magic to behold. These simple treasures Make us far richer Than any amount Of gold.
I am over the moon Grateful For this life, For our family, And all of our friends. For our laughter, And every moment- Together. For our memories, Adventures, And light-hearted Shenanigans. For the gift Of this new day. For getting to Rise again- For this moment Right now, For the air I breathe, And for the strength Of my body Still carrying me- Forward. And onward. I am grateful!
To our beautiful son, Dason, Who wasn’t meant To stay here on earth… I will never forget you Or the day of your birth.
I honored your life By delivering you As if you were To be born alive. It was the only way I knew how to show you- Just how much love We held for you inside.
In times of great sorrow, You never cease to Surprise and amaze me- By showing up In the most beautiful And unexpected ways.
Today- I walked outside After a few days of Feeling somber And sad inside.
And the most Vibrant dragonfly Was laid to rest Right at my feet As if it had been Perfectly placed And was waiting there Just for me.
My tears were instant. A giant lump in my throat, My heart skipped a beat. I knew in that moment It was you. A giant hug from above A gift of grace And all the love And comfort I So desperately longed for.
I see you And feel your spirit Through your Heaven-sent signs And dragonfly eyes. I am endlessly grateful For you And I love you With all my heart And bigger than The whole sky.
Some battles Just aren’t worth All the tears that come.
Some might say That all these patterns Are too much For the eye to see… And I did- Because that was me.
Until I realized What the magnitude Of my words to her Might convey…
That she is Too much, Too bold, And too different For this world to see… And to please tone it down For all others, And for the pride Of the mother in me.
And that reflection Stopped me cold In my tracks And broke my heart for her. These patterns, All of these Beautiful flowers, And this outfit All of her own choosing Are NOT too much For this world And me to see.
Rather- They are A breath of fresh air. A palette of innocence, And pure and simple Happiness. This outfit Now makes my heart Smile with joy- For she is a force To be reckoned with. She is a beacon of light, Kindness, love, And quick wit. She is smart, bold, fierce, Creative, and beautiful, And dances to the beat Of her own drum… And I will no longer Tell her that her outfits Are too much For this world Or for me- Because her imagination, And her bright shining spirit Is everything This world and I both need.
My six-month breast cancer Check-up last Friday With my oncologist- Turned into seven because I forgot. I forgot to schedule it Because I was so busy living- And the forgetting, for me, Was a blessing… Because remembering – is a lot!
Before this day came, I was unbothered and untroubled. After all, this was just another normal Follow-up doctor’s appointment I needed to go to. But when I was pulling into The Harmony Cancer Center that day, My mood suddenly shifted. I felt a heaviness welling up inside my heart. I was taken aback. And these emotions Caught me completely off guard.
As I walked into the cancer center, I looked around at all the people present Waiting for their name to be called, As I patiently waited in line To be checked in for mine. Some wore hats To cover their balding heads from chemo. Some sat alone in silence Staring out the windows At the falling snow and gray skies. While others sat with their spouses And filled their waiting time With comforting words, Loving nudges and a bit of normalcy. Today, the cancer center was busy, And bustling.
I was a mixed bag Of so many different emotions… Bouncing, in real-time, From one right into the next. I stood trying to wrap my head around The complexity of all that I was feeling. And what I was feeling Felt heavy and intense.
I meandered around And found a chair that offered Bright colored landscapes on the wall In front of me to get lost in, And large windows close by To see the beautiful tree outside- That was somehow grounding. And something I found comfort in.
And I sat alone in silence, Sipping my hot coffee With honey and cinnamon- Reflecting, observing And remembering the journey That landed me in this space. The traumas still come back To haunt me from time to time. Like today. Coming back was a trigger I wasn’t prepared for in any way.
My grief is still present, Though not as often as it once was. And my sadness still lingers. Though most of it, I have chosen to let go of. But all that I felt was a reminder That I am still healing From all that I endured. That I am not done processing Everything I’ve been through. And I’m still hoping for one day, a cure. I’m healing slowly, but surely And that’s okay. Little bit by little bit, Over an extended time… Because healing never happens Overnight.
When my name was called, I stood tall and followed my nurse Like a robot going through the motions. Weight and height check- Followed by my vitals and questions Around depression and how I’m managing. Overall, I feel a sense of pride For getting through and to Where I’m at today. That said, I still have moments Where I struggle to accept My new normal as being okay.
After my nurse left, and as I sat waiting For my oncologist to arrive, I snapped this photo of myself Because it’s a moment To be celebrated. This was my high-five. I felt happy and grateful To still be here- To still be alive.
But when I look at This photo of myself, I see every emotion I was feeling And sitting with, Even though I thought I was hiding it. I see everything That tugged at my heart that day. I see happiness and inner peace. I see a deep sadness And a sense of unease. But I see immense gratitude- And a good attitude toward Being in remission– And I also see that I am not defined By one or the other. I see that I am all of them- Intertwined together… And a work-in-progress I will be– Forever.
Last night I stepped outside my norm and this is what came forward … along with a poem that came directly after. This is for any and all who need to hear the same.
“RELEASE”
Release the need For perfectionism. Let go of that Which cannot exist.
Instead- Color outside the lines With bold enthusiasm And lead with your love, Fire and grit.
Drop the comparisons. You are not them, And they are not you. Your journey is not theirs- And yours is for you.
Live your life out loud With intention, And just be you. Reinvented you. Passionate you. Healing you. Unapologetically you. And be unafraid To let the world see The unmasked version Of you.
For you are beautiful. Just as you are- With every story, Every scar, Every facet, Every celebrated Imperfection. You are a force To be reckoned with.
Your truth Is your connection. It’s the red thread That unites us all Behind unspoken words. Speak up with courage. Your voice is your power And your story- Beckons to be heard.
Chase your joys. Follow your heart And be led by the things That ignite your light So deeply within.
For that IS Your purpose And a sign that The stars have aligned. That you are on your path- And your soul is ready To dive in.
I took a giant leap of faith, and followed my heart instead of listening to my fears. I went on a journey of art and healing with an amazing group of women that I’m now proud to call my friends. I stand in awe of our experiences together.
This is a poem I wrote after I bought my plane tickets. You should also know it took me 3 times of getting all the way to end where you confirm – before I actually did. The fear was loud, but my faith was louder. This was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had. I’m forever grateful.
“Teotihuacan Feb. 2025 – Leap of Faith”
I just took A GIANT leap of faith. Scary! Terrifying actually! My heart is racing… And the logical Part of my brain Is bracing itself… And wondering why I just jumped Without a net To catch my fall- And yet Something Deeper within My spirit Told me To just answer The call. Told me I must! Told me to trust! Asked me to believe. Have blind faith in that Which you cannot Foresee! And my higher self Is applauding me, And celebrating My bravery- And rejoicing in The open-minded Parts of me Willing to Finally let go. Let go Of every self doubt, Every roadblock, And excuse That has been This barrier Enslaving me, And belittling me Since I was 19. Because My higher self Sees the real me. Believes in me. Sees my Unique qualities, My strengths, And every possibility Deep down Inside of me. Maybe- The lioness Within me is Awakening… And jumping Was just The beginning Of my trajectory- To inner glory. And the beginning- Of my NEW life story.
I’m terrified. But my soul Is on fire With a light Brighter Than anything I have ever felt Before. Something Has been ignited Deep within My spirit, At my core And I am ready And eager For ALL that’s In store…
Today is a gift In this very moment As you sit here now, Breathing, seeing, Feeling and being. This- is living. This- is the present.
Life is a treasure To behold, And to cherish. No day is perfect But every single one, Holds something within- A blessing or blessings To relish.
Let perfection go- And allow Your life To unfold In the most Beautiful ways- As you follow Your heart, And listen To that little Voice inside- Nudging, And guiding you. This- is your intuition And your guides Lighting the path, And realigning you.
Allow your light To shine For all those Around you To see and to feel. This- is the center Of your spirit. This- is love. The truest And purest, Most beautiful part of you.
Today is a gift. Celebrate it. Gratitude is Knocking On your door- Answer it. Life is a mirror Of what you choose To project. So, protect it. Choose your Words and your Thoughts wisely. And if something Within this day Doesn’t go your way- Let it. Change your lens, Find your peace, And accept it. Happiness is a choice. Remember that. New opportunities Are unfolding Before you- Open your heart And be willing to listen. Have faith And trust in it.
It is up to each one of us To somehow Keep our hope alive. And we will find it In those places Where our heart Feels overwhelming joy To thrive.
I find my hope In a morning run And in the vibrant colors Of the rising Sun. In the clouds And God’s sun rays Shining down From up above. I feel hope When I give gratitude For the blessings I’ve been given. I find Hope In the beauty Of life’s little things. And In learning A new life lesson. Hope is there For the offering In those beautiful spaces That make your heart sing. May you find and feel Hope today In whatever Your day may bring.
May life’s littlest joys Make you smile in the moment- May you find time today To pause and take in The beauty all around you. May you feel peace and gratitude For simply being present. And for every blessing That comforts, calms, And re-grounds you.
That moment when- Your tired mind Can suddenly see- The world, And your current situation Through a completely Different lens.
That moment when- Your mind shifts, The clouds lift, And the sun comes out Welcoming you back home- To your happiness. Right where you belong.
That moment when- The right words are spoken, And your world suddenly realigns, And begins To make some sort of sense – again. After having been in the dark For far too long.
That moment when- Gratitude sneaks back in, And kisses you Softly on the cheek. And you smile in return- From the inside, out- Remembering Just how sweet The littlest things in life Can be.
Breast Cancer I am 1 in 8. Blinded by the diagnosis, and still coming to terms with accepting this as my fate.
I could ask, “Why me?”, and go to a sad, dark place quite easily. But that is a question- that will never be answered. And staying there would rob me of my power- Indefinitely.
Instead- I choose positivity. I choose hope. I choose faith. I choose humor. I choose to find the things that make me feel happy, rather than focus only on all the difficulty. I choose gratitude. And I choose my attitude. Daily. And intentionally.
Breast Cancer treatment- is a BIG mountain to climb. A giant obstacle- directly in front of me. And I am facing it head on, and riding the waves of change, and the side effects of every treatment with as much grace as I can, to the best of my ability. Overcoming this- And sharing my story and my journey along the way- is part of my life destiny. And I believe that wholeheartedly.
Breast Cancer- Why me? I will never know the reason. And I will never ask. This is my life test, and I’ve been called to task. I am 1 in 8. And I will overcome. I will do my best to keep my chin up through this adversity, and my battle WILL be won.
Breast Cancer affects so many. It’s shocking when you’re in the thick of it. Giant hugs and honor to all who have been impacted – by this enormity. I stand among the countless women who have been down this road before me. And I look forward to standing with them at the finish line, as a survivor with a story.
This was written the day my chemo port was placed, and the night before my very first chemo treatment. I was terrified of all of the unknowns. I leaned into God at every scary turn and it was everything I needed and more – to get me through it. May this poem find those who need it and offer up all of the same to you in your time of need or for someone you love! Love, light and giant hugs to all going through their own life battles right now. May we become beacons of light in the eye of the storm we’re in, to give hope to all those who follow a similar life journey! 💗💗💗
Laughter is the best medicine – so don’t forget to laugh as often as possible to get those endorphins coming your way. Stay strong!
God’s grace- is a glorious place. A prayerful, and meditative state- filled with peace, unconditional love, and safe keeping. Releasing, And unleashing me from all that burdens my weary, and tethered mind- to fearful, and unkind thoughts- that slowly rise up to the tip top. Becoming louder And more prominent, and dominant than my faith. I pause in reflection- And feel God beckon me back- to trust in Him completely. To not fear this road I see in front of me. But to believe in Him, And to seek the beauty, amongst the rubble He has lovingly bestowed upon me. I must always retrace my steps- back to the quiet, prayerful space- when I feel lost- And He will come to greet me, and I must lean in with everything I am- to learn every lesson He is teaching me. I feel renewed by the power of faith He has restored within me. He refuses to give up on me. God’s grace is everything. Even through all of these life trials, and tribulations- I am humbled and blessed by the outpouring of God’s greatest kindnesses, and I am wholeheartedly, and profoundly gracious. I will do my very best to remain steadfast, and courageous- in the face of- my greatest challenges. God’s grace- Is the most glorious, and peaceful place. Where my tears of gratitude stream freely. Where my heart is overcome by His eternal, and everlasting love for me. God’s grace never ceases- to amaze me. His amazing grace always finds me in the dark, and reaches out with his undying love- to once again save me…
I am so very grateful for this beautiful life. For the brilliant sunsets, and the early morning sunrise. For the epic Colorado blue skies, that transition poetically into night.
For the moon that glows, the twinkling stars that shine, and for the afterglow of the moon- burning brightly into our daytime…
For the storm clouds that rise to the heavens- or gently roll through. For the pitter-patter of rain when it drops- For all of our life memories, and my loving thoughts of you.
For the snow when it falls, and the intricate wonder of snow flakes. For snuggling next to you- when I’m cold. And waking beside you- when the light of the early morning day, breaks.
For the sweet morning bird songs, that sing of spring and rebirth. For your comforting hugs when the sting of this life- hurts worst.
For the soothing sound- of your deep voice that calms, and relaxes my worry. For the quiet moments spent with you. When life pauses, and we let go of the hurry.
For your tender, loving kisses, and I love you’s. For our barefoot, mountain wedding, our custom vows, and I do’s.
For paddleboarding side by side in the hot summer sun. For camping, hiking, night fires, and outdoor family fun.
For jogging alongside me with our littlest in tow. I love and adore every moment with you, and I love you more than you’ll ever know.
I am so very grateful- for this beautiful life. For all of our family and friends, our children, and for you- right by my side.
dreamer | artist | painter | poet 