My Two Cents…

I woke up yesterday from a night of bad dreams, and the moment I opened my eyes, these words started pouring out of me and I knew I had to get them down in order to be able to let this go … for whatever it’s worth, these are my two cents…

The tough times
Aren’t meant
To break us.
They’re meant to
Shape and sculpt us
Into who we are
Becoming –
The next level
Of growth
In who we are
Meant to be.

The tears
We shed
Are meant to
Humble us,
And ground us.
A reminder for us
Of the kindness
And compassion
This world,
And people
Surrounding us-
Need.

We’re all fighting
Battles
Or health issues
Behind
Closed doors
Most people
Never see.

These days,
I would argue,
Most of us
Are often
Disconnected,,
Over-stimulated,
Rarely present,
And too busy
To process and
Heal from
All the things
That continue
To make our
Mind, body,
And spirit
Bleed…
Including me.

The overwhelm.
Our constant
Hustle and bustle-
Always moving.
This world
Is always in a hurry.
We’re so busy
Speeding through
Our days
From A to B
To C to D to E.
Just to get by.
Just to provide-
For our families.
And then-
Many of us
Are struggling to sleep,
And the hours of rest
We actually get-
Never feel like
Enough-
At least for me.

The mindless scrolling,
Binge-watching,
Numbing, vanity-driven
Distractions
Are carrying us all
Further and further away
From the true meaning
Of this life
And living-
Daily.
This frightening pattern
Is slowly killing
The very fabric
That connects us.
The deeper connection,
And sense of community
Is meant to support
And protect us.
As people-
We are more divided,
And more conflicted
Than ever before-
Slamming each other
Online in comments
Behind screens
And closed doors
Over disagreements…
Disagreements-
Over the muddied,
Skewed and
Extremely divided
Waters of corrupt
Media outlets and politics.
This division
Doesn’t suit us.
It’s gutting us.
Turning us
Against one another.
The hate
Certainly won’t fix this.
And I’ll be honest
When I say,
I don’t know
What the answer is-
But I do believe this-

We all need
To pause,
To reconnect
With ourselves,
To God,
The universe,
And our hearts.
We need more time
Out in nature.
More peace,
And quiet,
More time to
Think and breathe-
To reflect, meditate
And pray.
To sit and listen
To the silence.
Allowing ourselves
To reset
And to just be…
To be at ease-
To listen to the breeze,
Watching the birds
Flutter, soar,
And dance
Across the sky,
So effortlessly.
It’s live poetry-
In motion…
To just sit still
And watch the clouds
Form and fade,
Build up, roll in,
And release
Snow or rain,
Or allow
Warm sunshine
To shine through
The cracks
And down
Upon our face.
The raw beauty,
Of this world
And the wildlife buzzing
All around us
Is a gift to behold.
The awe-inspiring
Magic of our earth.
The power, the fragility,
And true honor
Of what it means
To breathe,
To be alive,
To be alongside
Our loved ones,
To be present,
And to feel heard.

We all want the same.
We all want better-
For ourselves,
For our children,
And grandchildren.
For our country,
And for each other.
Let’s all do better-
And be better-
For the higher good.

-Tanielle Childers 12.02.25

Triggered

Triggered-

By the photos

Posted online

Of all of you together-

Smiling, laughing,

Adventuring, and living it up.

Triggered-

Because there was a time

When I was right there

Beside you in the mix,

Sharing in all the laughs,

Jokes and shenanigans.

I miss it.

Triggered-

Because I still

Don’t totally understand

Exactly why it happened.

Only that it did.

And only that it remains-

Forever changed.

Triggered-

Because I’m no longer

On the inside.

No longer a regular part

Of your everyday lives.

And I still feel like

I’m stuck in the dark.

Wondering why.

Triggered-

Because so much

About my life has changed

Since overcoming

Breast cancer.

And the change in

Friendships-

Has been incredibly

Difficult for me to accept.

But I’m trying my best

To get it.

And even harder

To just let it.

I understand

That I’m not the person

I used to be.

I struggle to this day

To feel carefree-

Like I used to be.

But I’m doing my best

Every day

To hold my head high

And smile my way through

The sadness that overcomes

My heart when I am

Triggered.

-Tanielle Childers ©️8.31.25

I Am a Breast Cancer Survivor

My six-month breast cancer
Check-up last Friday
With my oncologist-
Turned into seven because I forgot.
I forgot to schedule it
Because I was so busy living-
And the forgetting, for me,
Was a blessing…
Because remembering – is a lot!

Before this day came,
I was unbothered and untroubled.
After all, this was just another normal
Follow-up doctor’s appointment
I needed to go to.
But when I was pulling into
The Harmony Cancer Center that day,
My mood suddenly shifted.
I felt a heaviness welling up inside my heart.
I was taken aback.
And these emotions
Caught me completely off guard.

As I walked into the cancer center,
I looked around at all the people present
Waiting for their name to be called,
As I patiently waited in line
To be checked in for mine.
Some wore hats
To cover their balding heads from chemo.
Some sat alone in silence
Staring out the windows
At the falling snow and gray skies.
While others sat with their spouses
And filled their waiting time
With comforting words,
Loving nudges and a bit of normalcy.
Today, the cancer center was busy,
And bustling.

I was a mixed bag
Of so many different emotions…
Bouncing, in real-time,
From one right into the next.
I stood trying to wrap my head around
The complexity of all that I was feeling.
And what I was feeling
Felt heavy and intense.

I meandered around
And found a chair that offered
Bright colored landscapes on the wall
In front of me to get lost in,
And large windows close by
To see the beautiful tree outside-
That was somehow grounding.
And something I found comfort in.

And I sat alone in silence,
Sipping my hot coffee
With honey and cinnamon-
Reflecting, observing
And remembering the journey
That landed me in this space.
The traumas still come back
To haunt me from time to time.
Like today.
Coming back was a trigger
I wasn’t prepared for in any way.

My grief is still present,
Though not as often as it once was.
And my sadness still lingers.
Though most of it,
I have chosen to let go of.
But all that I felt was a reminder
That I am still healing
From all that I endured.
That I am not done processing
Everything I’ve been through.
And I’m still hoping for one day, a cure.
I’m healing slowly, but surely
And that’s okay.
Little bit by little bit,
Over an extended time…
Because healing never happens
Overnight.

When my name was called,
I stood tall and followed my nurse
Like a robot going through the motions.
Weight and height check-
Followed by my vitals and questions
Around depression and how I’m managing.
Overall, I feel a sense of pride
For getting through and to
Where I’m at today.
That said, I still have moments
Where I struggle to accept
My new normal as being okay.

After my nurse left, and as I sat waiting
For my oncologist to arrive,
I snapped this photo of myself
Because it’s a moment
To be celebrated.
This was my high-five.
I felt happy and grateful
To still be here-
To still be alive.

But when I look at
This photo of myself,
I see every emotion I was feeling
And sitting with,
Even though
I thought I was hiding it.
I see everything
That tugged at my heart that day.
I see happiness and inner peace.
I see a deep sadness
And a sense of unease.
But I see immense gratitude-
And a good attitude toward
Being in remission–
And I also see that I am not defined
By one or the other.
I see that I am all of them-
Intertwined together…
And a work-in-progress I will be–
Forever.

Because I am a breast cancer survivor.

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 4.22.25

Diagnosed 12.21.21
DMX 2.10.22
Chemo 3.22.22 – 5.29.22
Reconstruction & ovary removal 7.29.22

Teotihuacan – A Leap of Faith

I took a giant leap of faith, and followed my heart instead of listening to my fears. I went on a journey of art and healing with an amazing group of women that I’m now proud to call my friends. I stand in awe of our experiences together.

This is a poem I wrote after I bought my plane tickets. You should also know it took me 3 times of getting all the way to end where you confirm – before I actually did. The fear was loud, but my faith was louder. This was one of the most empowering experiences I’ve ever had. I’m forever grateful.

“Teotihuacan Feb. 2025 – Leap of Faith”

I just took
A GIANT leap of faith.
Scary!
Terrifying actually!
My heart is racing…
And the logical
Part of my brain
Is bracing itself…
And wondering why
I just jumped
Without a net
To catch my fall-
And yet
Something
Deeper within
My spirit
Told me
To just answer
The call.
Told me I must!
Told me to trust!
Asked me to believe.
Have blind faith in that
Which you cannot
Foresee!
And my higher self
Is applauding me,
And celebrating
My bravery-
And rejoicing in
The open-minded
Parts of me
Willing to
Finally let go.
Let go
Of every self doubt,
Every roadblock,
And excuse
That has been
This barrier
Enslaving me,
And belittling me
Since I was 19.
Because
My higher self
Sees the real me.
Believes in me.
Sees my
Unique qualities,
My strengths,
And every possibility
Deep down
Inside of me.
Maybe-
The lioness
Within me is
Awakening…
And jumping
Was just
The beginning
Of my trajectory-
To inner glory.
And the beginning-
Of my NEW life story.

I’m terrified.
But my soul
Is on fire
With a light
Brighter
Than anything
I have ever felt
Before.
Something
Has been ignited
Deep within
My spirit,
At my core
And I am ready
And eager
For ALL that’s
In store…

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 11/24

This experience exceeded my expectations. I went in with an open heart and I came away with so much more.

There is so much power and healing through art, writing and meditation. I am determined, now more than ever, to somehow help others do the same! 🩵

Leah has another trip in July if you are interested.

I’m Proud of You!

I’m so proud of you
For getting through
Every hardship,
Every battle,
And every struggle
That came from
Every difficult storm
You walked through.

I’m so proud of you
For every part
Of grief you
Overcame.
For moving through
Every feeling
You felt,
For allowing
Your heart to cry-
As you
Stoically,
Quietly,
Or powerfully,
And painfully
Wept.

I’m so proud-
That when the timing
Was just right for you,
You chose
To finally
Let it all go.
Let go of your pain,
And suffering,
The anger,
And sorrow,
And everything
That no longer
Served you-
And in the same breath
You decided
To step outside of
Your comfort zone.
And you chose
Joy and happiness.
You chose to rise, and
To spread your wings,
In order to grow,
And glow
Into the new,
Courageous,
Powerful and
Radiant
YOU.

Shine your light bright
For the whole wide world
To see-
And to feel.
Choose to
Love yourself
A whole lot more,
And a whole lot better…
Please promise me
You will.
Please offer yourself
Forgiveness,
And allow yourself
More grace-
With even more space
For love, compassion,
And patience…
For doing your best.
For who you are
And where you are-
Right now
At this very moment,
And in this place.
Because-
You and I both know
That this life isn’t easy!
And I just wanted you to know-
That I think you’re doing great!

Keep going!

Tanielle Childers ©️ 11-24-24

Not Every Season Is Meant to Last

I reach out
To hang out.
I long for old times
And friendship.
But each time
I feel denied
And somehow rejected.
And it triggers
This horrible sadness inside,
And I can’t help
But feel deeply affected.
I know that I hurt you
A long time ago-
I apologized,
And I’ve tried
To right my wrong-
But it’s forever changed
The way we once were-
And it’s become
Painfully clear
Over these last few years-
That I no longer
Really belong.
In truth, I’m realizing
The time has come
For me to stop playing
This same old sad song.
I love you forever,
And I always will.
Until my very last breath.
All those crazy, fun times
We had together-
Are some of my most favorite
Life memories yet-
I won’t bother you
To hang out anymore-
And I’m sorry
If I have felt like a pest.
I love you big
And I love you for life-
You’ll always be one of the best-

-Tanielle Childers ©️ 8/24

Just A Little Too Soon

This poem came to me around 3am on the morning of 6-27-24,
and was written for those of us who are experiencing our children
growing up and being around a whole lot less.

I feel a little bit sad
Every time I walk by
And see your empty bed.
It’s a reminder again and again-
Just a little each time,
You’re a little more adult,
And a little less kid.

My mama heart breaks
Just a little each time
I see you paving your way.
Living your own life,
And on your own terms,
A little less here,
And a little more away.

But I also feel
A lot of mama pride-
Watching you thrive
As the days fly by…
And I see the woman
You are growing into-
A little less me
And a lot more you.

It’s beautiful.
YOU are beautiful,
And I am forever grateful
That I get to do
This life with you.
I thank God
For every waking day I get-
To spend a little more time
Watching you blossom
And bloom…

Even if my mama heart feels like
It’s all happening-
Just a little too soon.

  • Tanielle Childers ©️ 6.27.24