Shame on the sadness that haunts me in my dreams-
Of others being pregnant and what’s not meant for me.
Awaking again and again to the harsh reality-
Of the life that will never breathe beside me.
Left feeling empty and tangled in blues-
Over the life, we already envisioned with you.
And the excitement we shared in all we would do.
And now, the courage to push on after losing you.
Shame on the sadness that takes my breath away
And on the dreams that come to haunt me each day.
To remind me again of my broken heart-
In a thousand pieces, scattered apart.
Shame on the phantom baby flutters I feel.
And the excitement it stirs before realizing – it’s not real.
To remind me again and again of the harsh reality-
Of the life that will never breathe beside me.
Left feeling empty and tangled in blues.
Lost in my thoughts of forever missing you.
Now wondering what path in life I must choose.
The end of the dream we built around you.
I once took for granted, the life in my womb.
And I cannot go back. I cannot redo.
Awaking again and again to reminders of you.
Feeling empty and sad and tangled in blues.
Shame on the dreams that haunt me as I sleep.
Of the life that will never breathe beside me.
-Tanielle Childers © August 27, 2012
dreamer | artist | painter | poet 